[2005] TOHR Torch, December 2003 - January 2004; Volume 4, Issue 2
Title
[2005] TOHR Torch, December 2003 - January 2004; Volume 4, Issue 2
Subject
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights' Torch, December 2003 - January 2004; Volume 4, Issue 2
Description
The 2nd issue of the 4th volume of Torch, a newsletter published by Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR), 12 pages. Includes articles regarding a counter-protest in Sand Springs, the OpenArms Youth Project in Tulsa, and an interview with the chair of TOHR's Programming Committee, Ken Youngblood.
Creator
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR)
Publisher
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR)
Date
December 2003 - January 2004
Contributor
Michael Christopher, Mark Bonney, Sue Welch, Ken Draper, Ken Youngblood
Text
December/January 2004
Volume four / Issue two
the TORCH
tulsa oklahomans for human rights
220 Attend Vigil; Hundreds More the Streets
Sometimes hate gives Tulsa a black eye. This time we gave it back.
Michael Christopher, Executive Director
It didn’t take long after Oklahoma’s resounding defeat of GLBT marriage rights on November 2 for the hatemongers to start dancing in the streets. The GLBT Info Line rang steadily with news of people upset alter the election, some feeling afraid to go to work, some-having their cars chased; and at least one beaten up— a woman attacked by a lesbian-hating neighbor.
While dealing with all that, we got the news that Fred Phelps’ group, Westboro Baptist Church, was coming back to town on Sunday, November 7 and Monday, November 8, this time to picket churches that they believed didn’t do not show enough hatred toward GLBT people, and Charles Page High School in Sand Springs for not showing enough hatred toward its gay students. Fred Phelps’ battle cry, "God hates fags," would be heard once again in the Tulsa area.
I started calling our friends on the Say No To Hate Coalition and members of our advocacy committee to see what could be done in response. When we told Nancy Eggen of United Campus Ministries, she suggested a Sunday evening vigil. She swiftly organized a beautiful vigil service, and TOHR set about getting the word out. Thousands ofemails and phone calls later, the Center hosted its largest attendance ever.
If you missed the vigil, you also missed a great homecoming (And if you send me your email address I won’t let you miss the next one!) People who hadn’t seen each other for years, new friends from Native American and African Ameri can communities, TOHR members of years past, and many of the new friends we
(continued on p. 9)
TOHR’s Year End Fundraising Campaign
Mark Bomley
October marked the start of a new fiscal year for TOHR. We need your financial support to enter what will be a mnost significant year for the gay. lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community.
In the short period of six months since moving into our new Center and hiring an Executive Director. TOHR has substantially increased its service to the GLBT commnunity. The number of calls received on the GLBT Info Line grew 300%. The number of meetings held at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center doubled. Our cooperative work with allied organizations has grown dramatically—we have presented the day-long Questions on Marriage: A Conference on Marriage Equality, hosted a month-long residency of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, worked with PFLAG and others to present two candidate forum events and a panel discussion on the legal implications of the Oklahoma anti-gay marriage amendment, coordinated the Tulsa GLBT History Project Lecture. and participated in the Say No To Hate Coalition and its hate speech task force.
(contimted on p. 3)
From the President
The Holidays Present Special Challenges
Every year at this time my partner and I have our annual ’"What are we going to do for the holidays?" discussion. This year, we are skipping Thanksgiving and Christmas with the family. For us, holidays are our choice. I know that for many, holidays become a time of angst because their family takes the position that we can come but only if our partner does not. Each of us has to make our own choices when faced with families who feel this way. Our families are in effect saying, "choose us or choose your partner." For some, this position is an absolute and will rarely change; for others it is only a test to see how "committed" we are to "being gay" or to our partners.
What we should remember is that it is okay to make whatever choices we want. Whether we want to go be with our families or not is our decision and there is no reason we should feel any shame or guilt. After the events of this past year, some of us will find comfort in being with family; for others our families can be toxic. If your family is one that is not supportive, you should have an exit strategy. Don’t ride with others who may not want to leave when you do. Know when you are getting angry or depressed. If traveling long distances, make a hotel reservation for each night even if you have to cancel it. Once when visiting my sister at her invitation, my partner and I arrived only to be told that we had to sleep in different rooms. Be explicit with the ground rules before you arrive. Don’t leave things to chance. Even if you have had prior good experiences with family, be prepared this year for those family members who have been less supportive to be more vocal. Don’t expect them to be more difficult, just be prepared for how you are going to react.
A New Year’s Resolution That Does Everyone Good
One of the most important New Year’s Resolutions that I ever made was to be out in every aspect of my life. After the vote in Oklahoma this year, it is important to me to let as many of the three-out-of-four Oklahomans who voted for State Question 711 know that I am still here, still gay, and still deserving of equal relationship rights. For me, this will likely manifest itself in more LGBT t-shirts, buttons, etc. While Wild Oats may be a relatively safe place to stock up, I expect that I will also do some shopping at Walmart and Homeland. I urge all of us to be out in 2005. Come by the Center and get stickers for your cars, jewelry items, flags and windsocks to decorate your front porch. Let 2005 be the year that we let our PRIDE shine.
[signature of Mark Bonney]
President, TOHR
John D. Cutrlght, MSW, LCSW
Counselor & Psychotherapist
4870 S. Lewis Avenue, Suite 190
Tulsa, OK 74105
918-284-0123
Children + Adolescents + Adult + Couples
published by
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR)
PO Box 2687
Tulsa, OK 74101
918-743-4297
www.tohr.org
email: community@tohr.org
Office location
Tulsa GLBT Community Center
5545 East 41st Street
Tulsa, OK 74135
TOHR Board of Directors
Executive Board
President—Mark Bonney
1st Vice President—Dr. Laura Belmonte
2nd~/ice President—Libby Bender
Secretary—Mike Williams
Treasurer—Dwight Kealiher
Assistant Treasurer—John Madigan
Governing Board
Director, Gender Outreach—Troy Nicholas
Director, Board Development—Ken Youngblood
Director, Fundraising—Dennis Neill
Director, Programs & Facilities—Ken Youngblood
Directors at Large
Andrew Carter
Kelly Carter
Steve Eberle
Janet Gearin
Richard Hurtig
Shelly Ledford
Anita Randza
Mike Redman
Devon Rutherford
Kaye Smith
Novia Stice
Executive Director
Michael Christopher
TOHR’s Capital Campaign
The Pyramid Project
pyramidproject.org
Chair
Sue Welch
Committee Members
Mark Bonney, Marc Frieden, Michelle Hoffman,
David Hoot, Shelly Ledford, Catheryn Mason,
Marcy Smith and Tim Williams.
TOHR is a 501(c)3 oganization operated through donations and non-paid volunteneers. Contributions are tax-deductible to the fullest extent of current United States of America tax laws.
The Torch, a publicalion of Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights, Inc. is published bimonthly with an estimated annual readership of 10,000. Subscription rates are paid contributing member dues of Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR). The Torch is protected by copyright and may not be repreduced in whole or part except by permission obtained by contacting TOHR directly. Credit must be given to TOHR. The views of the Torch are expressed in editorials only. Views expreesed in letters to the editor and other submissions are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the board of directors, contributing members or editors or leadership of TOHR. The Torch reserves the right to edit or reject any material submitted for publication. The Torch and/or TOHR is not responsible for damages due to typographical errors. Advertisements designed and created for publication in the Torch remain the property of TOHR. The Torch and/or TOHR cannot be responsible for claims by advertisers. The use of the name or likeness of a person or entity in the Torch in advertising or editorial content does not imply any sexual orientation or political association.
Copyright 2004, TOHR.
Fund-Raising Campaign (cont. from p. 1)
During the same period we presemed the annual Diversity Celebration, expanded support group programmning, established the Tulsa Rainbow Business Organization (TuRBO), increased Center attendance for social events, conducted a major upgrade of our computer systems, and launched the TOHR eNEWS email newsletter to rave reviews. And, with PFLAG and Tulsa Reaches Out, we sponsored a scientific study to assess the needs of the Tulsa GLBT Commnunity right now.
It feels like we’ve done a year’s work in just a few months, but that’s exactly the pace we need to maintain to take advantage of this unique moment in our history. The debate around marriage and the overturning of all remaining sodomy laws is bringing unpredictable attention—and opportunity. In light of and despite recent electoral backlash, hate crimes legislation, employment nondiscrimination policies, the needs of our community have become both more critically important and more attainable.
The 20-member TOHR Board of Directors and thirty dedicated volunteers of the Tulsa GLBT Community Center ask you to consider a substantial commitment of dollars in the upcoming year. The momentum of this time must be continually fed with effort, passion and funds so that we will not miss this rare opportunity to advance our rights. In six months, the number of new people who have entered the fight is more than equal to the whole movement of a year ago, and TOHR is your contact with that force, your legs in the race.
To move our community and organization forward in 2005, we are asking our contributors to consider raising their level of support this year. Please send in the donation form available in this newsletter. We are deeply grateful for your help!
Estimated Revenues
Oct 1 2004 - Sept 30 2005 - $160,000
Other, 4%
Memberships, 3%
Grants, 19%
Benefits, 4%
Diversity Celebration, 40%
Donations & Pledges, 30%
Estimated Expenses
Oct 1 2004 - Sept 30 2005 - $160,000
Programs & Marketing, 14%
Other, 5%.
Wages & Benefits, 29%
Facilities & Office, 28%
Diversity Celebration, 24%
Kelly Kirby, CPA, PC
Certified Public Accountant
"For All Your Accounting Needs"
Gay men and lesbians face many special situations, whether single or as couples. We are proud to serve this community.
4815 South Harvard, Suite 424
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74135-3066
918.747.5466
Tulsa GLBT Information Line
743-GAYS
(743-4297)
White Lion Pub
Tulsa's Authentic English Pub
6927 S. Canton Ave.
Just 2 blocks East of Yale off 71st Street
491-6533
TOHR Board members and officers at November annual Board retreat, All Souls Unitarian Church, led by Tulsa facilitator Barbara Bannon.
Easy as Pie!
Holiday Shop Online and Help the Pyramid Project
Sue Welch
With the Holidays upon us, The Pyramid Project wants you to shop till you drop! You’ve helped raise just over $300,000 in pledges and donations to purchase a permanent site for the Tulsa GLBT Community Center. We want to help you do even more good and it not hurt a bit. Shop online through the iGive secure network of over 550 brand name stores and give to the Pyramid Project without it costing you a penny! In addition, if you join iGive through the How to Donate page of the Pyramid Project website, PyramidProject.org, and make a purchase within 30 days, the Pyramid Project receives an EXTRA $5.00 at NO cost to you.
Here’s how it all works: iGive Members are the folks doing the shopping. Members accrue money by shopping via iGive and iGive works on the behalf of each member to direct a percentage of that member’s purchases to the Pyramid Project—that’s up to 26% of each purchase at NO cost to you!
When supporters use the joinLink on the Pyramid Project website, Pyramid Project is automatically pre-selected to benefit! Every single supporter’s online shopping at over 550 popular stores means a donation for TOHR’s Pyramid Project!
Remember, each new person who joins and shops within 30 days means a $5.00 bonus for TOHR’s Pyramid Project, so do it now! Use your Join link at PyramidProject.org.
HOUSE FOR RENT in one of Tulsa’s few "blue precincts," $700 per month in historic Yorktown, St. John’s hospital area. Two bedrooms and one bath, a large kitchen, generous living room, separate dining room and glassed in back porch. Amenities include central air, washer, dryer, dish-washer and refrigerator! Leave a message for Ralph at 743-6863.
GARRETT LAW OFFICE, RC.
Garrett Law Office, P.C. is an association of lawyers with one common goal: to serve the public interest by representing injured persons or persons with property damage who are susceptible to possible unfair treatment by insurancecompanies.
Our practice areas are:
INSURANCE DISPUTES
PERSONAL INJURY
WRONGFUL DEATH
JOB-RELATED INJURIES
SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY
PRODUCT LIABILITY
SECURITIES FRAUD
BANKRUPTCY
Call our office for a free consultation before you commit to signing a release which could compromise the value of your claim and your legal rights.
1-888-GARRETT
In Tulsa:
622-9292
Remember - The adjuster works for the insurance company –
WE WORK FOR YOU!
UPCOMING EVENTS CALENDAR
December 1, 15 – Coming Out Group. Support for people making the journey out of the closet, fadlitated by John D. Cutright, MSW, LCSW. This is not formal counseling, but an open discussion between peers with guidance by a trained facilitator, and is very helpful in the difficult coming out process. Meets the first and third Wednesdays at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 E. 41st, at 7:00pm.
December 7, 14, 21 – Free anonymous HIV testing at the Center, 5545 E. 41st Street at our H.O.P.E. Testing Clinic, 6:00 to 8:00pm every Tuesday except Dec. 28
December 3, 10, 17 – Films at the Center. Join us at 6:30pm Fdday evenings for movie night... fun, film and friends at the Center, 5545 E. 41st
December 3, 4, 7 – Council Oak Men’s Chorale and Women of Council Oak Holiday Concert, "Home is Where the Heart Is" at Trinity Episcopal. For tickets go to www.counciloak.org.
December 6 – Diversity Celebration Planning Meeting at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 E. 41st. Anyone interested in being part of this annual June pride celebration is encouraged to attend.
December 13 – PFLAG/TOHR Holiday Dinner. Come and join us for the annual holiday dinner at 6:30pm at Fellowship Congregational Church, 2900 South Harvard. The Council Oak Men’s Chorale and Women of Council Oak will entertain, and PFLAG will present the annual SWAN Awards. It’s a covered dish dinner, so bring a side dish, salad or dessert to share.
December 17 – The dinner and lecture, GAY MARRIAGE, THE CONSTITUTION, AND AMERICAN POLITICS, features speaker Dr. Paul Finkelman, Chapman Distinguished Professor of Law at the University of Tulsa, at 6:30 p.m. in Kaiser-Miller Auditorium, 1719 South Owasso, Tulsa. The cost for adults is $10.00 per person, for children 4-12, $5.00. Tots are invited to join us at $1 per meal. Dinner reservations and baby sitting arrangements may be made by calling the Synagogue at 583-7121 or dropping a note to suzanne@bnaiemunah.com.
December 18 – Test Fest 2004, a day-long fair-style fun fest and free anonymous HIV testing. Door prizes, food, free sex supplies, games, and hot films on the big screen TV, with visits from very special guests. 10am to 7pm. Bring all your friends, get tested and know your status! Hosted by TOHR and H.O.P.E. Testing Services At the Center, 5545 E. 41st.
December 27 – PFLAG Support Meeting. Have a gay someone special in the family and need someone to talk to? This is the place. Call 749-4901 if you would like to attend.
January 5, 19 – Coming Out Group meets the first and third Wednesday of every month at the Ceriter, 5545 E. 41st. (See December 1 above for details.)
January 6 – JUST WHAT DO WE NEED? is a presentation at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 East 41st Street at 7:00pm focusing on a large-scale needs assessment commissioned last Spring by TOHR, PFLAG and Tulsa Reaches Out, to evaluate the needs of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community in the Tulsa area. Join us for the presentation by Janice Nicklas of the Community Service Council and a discussion following. This special presentation is TOHR’s monthly membership meeting for January. Desserts and coffee wilt be served.
January 10 – Presentation at the PFLAG monthly meeting of the GLBT Needs Assessment by Janice Nicklas of the Community Service Council at 7:30pm, Fellowship Congregational Church, 2900 South Harvard.
January 12 – Diversity Celebration Planning Meeting at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 E. 41st. Open to all.
January 24 – PFLAG Support Meeting. Have a gay someone special in the family and need someone to talk to? This is the place. Call 749-4901 if you would like to attend.
February 4 – TOHR Members Covered Dish Dinner. Bring a dish to share and hear speakers every month on the first Thursday at the Center, 5545 E. 41st Street.
IMPORTANT: To get updates on events plus links to important LGBT news items, subscribe to the free TOHR eNEWS email newsletter by sending email with the words ENEWS SUBSCRIBE in the subject line to mchristopher@tohr.org.
Genesis Ministries
2419 S. 83rd E. Avenue, Tulsa, OK
Meets Sunday 11 a.m. for service, Wednesday 7 p.m. for Bible Study, Singing and Prayer
GLBTQ Youth in Tulsa Have Found a Home
Ken Draper
OpenArms Youth Project in Tulsa has been serving the GLBTQ youth ages 14-21 for almost three years now. As the Center has grown, the youth have been the driving force behind its success and the formation of a programming schedule. The project is governed by both a youth board and an adult board of directors. The youth design the group activities and the adult board oversees grant writing and fundraising as well as the record keeping and major growth activities.
Since opening the first Center in May of 2002, OpenArms relocated to a larger location in December 2003, and in February 2004 expanded to add additional office space for computer and Internet access, after-school activities, and safe sex outreach programs. OpenArms offers training for youth to become H1V/STD peer educators and 32 youth have now been certified in the extensive training curriculum that was designed and written by the University of Oklahoma.
OpenArms provides a variety services to youth including counseling, group meetings, social activities, mentor partners, after-school programs, HIV/STD education and other activities to help youth cope with their specific needs. OpenArms strives to reach youth where they are in their process of "coming out," providing many different levels of information based on their own requirements. OpenArms is an organization built for youth and designed by youth to reach them where they are and to fill the gaps in services that they identify in the community.
OpenArms Youth Project is funded in part by the youth it serves via a cover charge for social activities and also by community donations. Contact OpenArms at 918-838-7104, info@openarmsproject.org
FALL FUND DRIVE 2004
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights extends heartfelt thanks to the generous donors to our Fall Fund Drive. Below are listed the names of those with gifts or pledges $100 or more who have given us permission to acknowledge them publicly. Thank You!
$5,000 and above
Dennis Neill and John Southard
$1,000 to $4,999
Mark Henry
Cisar Holt, Inc.
Doug Campbell
Kaye Smith
Michael Williams and Lance Pillstrom
$250 to $999
Lamont Lindstrom
Duane MenNe and Mike Mills
Tom Neal
Gregg Smith and Kevin Burleson
Michael Green
$100 to $249
Janet Gearin
Andrew Carter
D. Bruce Lewis
Rev. and Mrs. Russell Bennett
Fred Bassett
tulsa glbt history project
HISTORY PROJECT Memories
Tulsa has a rich history of gay "spaces"—bars mad clubs where the community could come together to relax and mingle, and to escape the everyday surveillance of mainstream society. Do you remember these old favorites of the 1940s—1970s?
** TROPICAL GARDENS
** BLUE NOTE LOUNGE
** BLUE HAVEN
** MILWAUKEE TAVERN
** BISHOPS BAR
** St. MORITZ
** LITTLE MEXICO
** THE DOGHOUSE
** SKOO-BEE-DO
** FRIENDS LOUNGE (a.k.a. THE FRUIT LOOP)
** TRACY’S
** THE NEW EDITION
** THE ZEBRA LOUNGE
** TAJ MAHAL
** THE GALA
** TIM’S PLAYROOM CLUB
** THE CLUB
** THE QUEEN OF HEARTS
** NEW YORK, NEW YORK
** THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH
** PAPILLON
** THE ZEBRA
** CARUSO’S
** ANYTHING GOES CLUB
** NEW PLANTATION CLUB
** TIM’S PLAYROOM CLUB
** ZIPPERS
** TULSA MINING COMPANY
** SEEKERS CHOICE
** OVER THE RAINBOW
** DANTES
MEMBERSHIP
"I'm a member because it just seems to me like citizenship... working for our civil rights is a duty of my citizenship in the gay community." ~ C.B., Tulsa
"Education is the most important thing we can do right now to gain our rights. Thank you for doing this work. Keep it up!" ~ A.J., Tulsa
BENEFITS OF MEMBERSHIP IN TULSA OKLAHOMANS FOR HUMAN RIGHTS include many nice privileges, but the one that really means something important is that you will be participating in a very meaningful way in the rights of every gay man, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered person in Tulsa to live with full citizenship and to pursue a life with equality. The levels listed below are just guidelines—anything you want to contribute will be deeply appreciated. You can give the full amount today, or instruct us to bill your credit card monthly for a certain amount and for a specific number of months. If you like, you can even make your gift online at www.tohr.org... just click the DONATE button.
Membership is for one full year from the date you join.
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200,000 people in northeastern Oklahoma deserve equality regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights works for legal equality and social acceptance—not just tolerance—for the gay, lesbian bisexual, transgender and allied community of northeast Oklahoma through advocacy, education, leadership and unity. Thousands of callers are served each year through the Tulsa GLBT Info Line (743-GAYS). 10,000 visitors are served through the Tulsa GLBT Community Center and annual Diversity Celebration. Hundreds attend conferences, lectures and other educational opportunities designed to build positive perceptions of the GLBT community—both in the community and among ourselves.
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights works for you.
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Sweeping Away Hate in Sand Springs
220 Attend Vigil... (continued from p. 1)
have been making in Tulsa’s faith communities all came together for a candlelight vigil. We experienced one of those moving moments that have become all too rare in life—a moment in which we all felt the support and love of oue another. And we encouraged each other to participate in one more positive action, a Silent Sweep Against Hate at the high school after Phelps’ group had gone.
Fred Phelps had eleven people in his hate-filled protest of the churches that day, and even fewer at the high school the next morning. After strongly encouraging our members to stay away from the high school protest, hoping to focus media attention away from Phelps’ people and onto our own, I met Don Satterthwaite and Vernon Jones of our sister group, Oklahoma Freedom and Equality Coalition, at the school at 7:30am. We were there to observe and to document. Vernon and I interviewed two of Phelps’ people on video, then crossed the street to interview the counter-protesters. Despite our efforts to keep the crowds down, 240 people showed up in opposition to the "God Hates Fags" signs. Most were high school and college students, and there were some parents. Most expressed a deeply felt need to stand up and do something. Some didn’t feel quite satisfied yet.
Silent Sweep Against Hate
I spoke with the principal, Robert Franklin, to let him know that we were planning something for that afternoon when school was to let out. We wanted students to see something very positive. Someone on the Say No To Hate Coalition had reminded me of the Silent Sweep Against Hate that was held after the Ku Klux Klan had a Tulsa rally. We called the organizers of that action and got their help in plauning a new sweep demonstration to rid Charles Page High School of homophobia. The principal was a little wary, but he knew we were the good guys.
We gathered at about 2:30, brooms in hand, on the sidewalk across the driveway from the high school’s main entrance. As the parking lot emptied, we swept the sidewalks and heard cheera of solidarity from students. Sweepers included TOHR donors, friends from the Jewish Federation and the Say No To Hate Coalition, PFLAG, several churches, Open Arms Youth Project, the University of Tulsa’s BLGTA, United Campus Ministries and students from Tulsa Community College. In all, about 75 people attended the sweep. Between the vigil, the students who stood against Phelps, mad the Sileut Sweep, we numbered about 535 people against Phelps’ meager dozen. The guest of honor? The young man whom Sand Springs high school students refused to hate: Michael Shackleford. He was there throughout—from the vigil through the sweep, and his presence encouraged all of us.
Radical Inclusivity
Since the first articles on a Sand Springs high school student appeared a few months ago, Washington Post correspondent Anne Hull has quietly followed the young man’s story. I’ve skipped many of the details of the vigil because Anne’s story tells it so much better than I could. (I hope you’ll read it at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn!articles/A48197-2004Novl3.html.) Of Rev. Russell Bennett’s words that night, she writes:
Bennett recited a Bible verse in which Jesus scolds the leaders of his time for worrying more about narrow morality than the bigger picture. ’Woe to you, hypocrites,’ the reverend said. ’For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy.’ [Michael Shackleford’s mother] Janice was quiet, listening to phrases such as ’radical inclusivity’ and quotes by Robert F. Kennedy about the long arm that bends toward justice...
As school let out [on Monday], dozens of people from Tulsa Oklahomans For Human Rights arrived with brooms. In silence, they swept the sidewalk where the Phelps protesters had been. Michael was there, sweeping. A group of students walked by. One of them, a girl with long, silky hair and a backpack, was obviously fed up with all the protests and counter-protests. ’Leave our homos alone,’ she said.
To Anne Hull and Michael Shackleford, to the students in Sand Springs, to Nancy Eggen, Russ Bennett, Cathy Elliot, Nancy McDonald, Nancy Day and everyone else who worked to pull this together on incredibly short notice, to all of the organizations and individuals who stood together against hate for two days in two towns, to the people who stayed together after the protest to go to breakfast and reimagine the future, and those who got together a few nights later to celebrate victory in the jaws of the election defeat— thank you.
After the passage of a constitutional amendment by which our full citizenship was revoked, after people with hate on their lips were triumphantly elected to the highest offices in our nation, we needed something wonderful to happen. Fred Phelps didn’t expect to bring us renewed hope and strength.
This time we’re glad he came.
Gay & Lesbian Fund FOR TULSA
If you support Non-Profits in the Tulsa Area
Consider Giving Your Tax-Deductible Contributions Through the Gay & Lesbian Fund for Tulsa. You will be able to specifically direct your funds to any of the pre-screened Tulsa Area Non-Profits, ensuring that your contributions are going to agencies which support diversity in their policies and outreach. Your contribution will be leveraged with other dollars, increasing our visibility and the benefit to the non-profit agencies of your choice. This Donor Advised Fund has been established with the Tulsa Community Foundation.
Some 40 non-profit organizations in the Tulsa Area have added Sexual Orientation to their non-discrimination policies. Please support these progressive organizations with tax-deductible contributions in the name of the Gay & Lesbian Fund for Tulsa.
Some of the organizations supported this year include: All Souls Unitarian Church Community Outreach Program; Arthritis Foundation; Arts and Humanities Council; Community Food Bank of Eastern Oklahoma; Child Abuse Network; Community Action Project; Domestic Violence Intervention Services; Family & Children’s Services: Komen Race for the Cure (Breast Cancer); League of Women Voters; Life Senior Services; Light Opera of Oklahoma; Mental Health Association; National Conference of Community and Justice; Parent Child Center of Tulsa; Philbrook Art Museum; Planned Parenthood of Northeastern Oklahoma; Tulsa AIDS Walk; Tulsa CARES; Tulsa Day Center for the Homeless; Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights; Tulsa Opera; Youth Services of Tulsa.
Making a difference in Tulsa while highlighting the important contributions of the Gay, Lesbian and Allied Communities.
For more information: www.gayandlesbianfund.org/tulsa
Email: Tulsa@gayandlesbianfund.org Or call the Tulsa Community Foundation, 918-494-8823.
Interview with a Board Member:
Ken Youngblood
Ken Youngblood chairs TOHR’s Program Committee. He is a long-time Tulsa florist and antiques dealer with an alter-ego even more famous that he is!
TORCH: Where did you grow up? Where is home for you?
KY: I grew up in Jay, OK, Huckleberry Capital of the world and home to the mighty, mighty Bulldogs high school football team. Jay is a very small town and our home was in the country. Actually, almost all of Jay is in the country except for a couple of blocks where the courthouse for Delaware County is located. My father was a patrol officer for Lake Eucha and was an employee of the City of Tulsa. My morn owned her own beauty salon which was on main street. In college, at Northeastem State, I became very involved in anti-Vietnam War activities. My first step into the world of social politics! I guess I was a radical then too. After graduating with degrees in music, business, and political science, I drifted around the country for a while. In 1976 1 ended up in Tulsa and have been here ever since. I love the city! It has changed over the years.
TORCH: When did you first get involved with TOHR?
KY: Back then it was called Oklahomans for Human Rights. There was a sister group in OKC. My first memories of that group were Christmas Parties downtown at Trinity Episcopal. Back then I felt empowered by being with other gay people. The group always made me very proud to be gay. At that time the group was more social than political and I became personally much more political and with the AIDS epidemic, TOHR started to become more political. During the mid 80s, I was always helping with fund raisers and was a regular on the Gay Hotline. I’ve been involved off and on through all these years serving as first lady during 91 and 92. What a beating!! It has to be worse than being President!!
TORCH: What are some ofyour TOHR memories??
KY: To be truthful, there have been years where we have made huge strides in the face of a lot of adversity. There have been years when the Board was absolutely awful. I believe the new board has the opportunity to take the community to a higher level but it won’t be easy. Division is easy and the low road. Unification is a much harder goal to accomplish and takes a lot of work. The reality of our community is that we are very diverse. We don’t always agree but hopefully we can all agree onat least one goal—equality and respect. One shining light in TOHR’s history is the number of great activists and leaders who have started with TOHR and then started their own specialized groups to great success.
TORCH: As TOHR Program Director, what can we expect in the future?
KY: Our new committee is currently working on many new programs but always wants to hear from the community on what YOU want. Talk to us. We will listen.
TORCH: Now tell us about PEACHES.
The truth is Peaches and Ken are very different individuals. Peaches is a created character. Peaches has helped raise more money for the community than most patrons. Ask her what she thinks (she will tell you even if you don’t).
TORCH: Alright Peaches, so what are your opinions of TOHR and the gay community?
PEACHES: Thank God somebody asked! Get off your ass Gay Community! I’m tired of you just sitting home whining that nothing goes on! A lot of you don’t support jack. TOHR is working its butt off! We need your help! Volunteer! Pay for the electric bill or the gas bill! Stop by and talk to us! Be part of the community instead of being an outsider. TOHR can only be relevant if everybody comes together and we help each other. Smooch!!
Coming Out Crowd
TOHR's Coming Out Support Group continues to meet the first and third Wednesday of every month at 7:00pm at the Tulsa GLBTCommunity Center 5545 E. 41st Street.
Counselor and therapist John D. Cutright (MSN, LCSW) leads friendly and supportive discussion.
ALL WELCOME!
TOHR is seeking insurance bids from a GLBT-owned, - managed and/or -affirming insurance agent. If you would like to bid on our insurance contract, please contact Michael Christopher at rnchdstopher@tohr.org.
STUFFING STOCKINGS FOR THE HOLIDAYS?
Don't forget the PRIDE STORE
Located inside the Tulsa GLBT Community Center
5545 E. 41st St.
Cards, Jewelry, Rainbow flags, Art Prints, Pet Gifts, Books, Candles, AND MORE!
Tuisa Oklahomans for Human Rights
P.O. Box 2687
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101
This may be your last issue!
We’ve been mailing the Torch to a large list of past members and friends through this year. But as of the next issue, we’ll be mailing only to current Members and Volunteers! If you’d like to continue receiving the Torch, please fill out and return the Membership Form inside. Thanks!
Printed on recycled,
chlorine free paper
PFLAG/TOHR HOLIDAY DINNER
Monday, Dec 13
6:30pM
Fellowship Congregational Church
2900 South Harvard
Bring a side dish, salad or dessert to share, or just come!
Entertainment by Council Oak Men’s Chorale!
Reach thousands of NE Oklahoma’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning, and allied READERS
ADVERTISE IN THE TORCH!
For rate card and specs email mchristopher@tohr.org or phone Michael at 743-4297
Volume four / Issue two
the TORCH
tulsa oklahomans for human rights
220 Attend Vigil; Hundreds More the Streets
Sometimes hate gives Tulsa a black eye. This time we gave it back.
Michael Christopher, Executive Director
It didn’t take long after Oklahoma’s resounding defeat of GLBT marriage rights on November 2 for the hatemongers to start dancing in the streets. The GLBT Info Line rang steadily with news of people upset alter the election, some feeling afraid to go to work, some-having their cars chased; and at least one beaten up— a woman attacked by a lesbian-hating neighbor.
While dealing with all that, we got the news that Fred Phelps’ group, Westboro Baptist Church, was coming back to town on Sunday, November 7 and Monday, November 8, this time to picket churches that they believed didn’t do not show enough hatred toward GLBT people, and Charles Page High School in Sand Springs for not showing enough hatred toward its gay students. Fred Phelps’ battle cry, "God hates fags," would be heard once again in the Tulsa area.
I started calling our friends on the Say No To Hate Coalition and members of our advocacy committee to see what could be done in response. When we told Nancy Eggen of United Campus Ministries, she suggested a Sunday evening vigil. She swiftly organized a beautiful vigil service, and TOHR set about getting the word out. Thousands ofemails and phone calls later, the Center hosted its largest attendance ever.
If you missed the vigil, you also missed a great homecoming (And if you send me your email address I won’t let you miss the next one!) People who hadn’t seen each other for years, new friends from Native American and African Ameri can communities, TOHR members of years past, and many of the new friends we
(continued on p. 9)
TOHR’s Year End Fundraising Campaign
Mark Bomley
October marked the start of a new fiscal year for TOHR. We need your financial support to enter what will be a mnost significant year for the gay. lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community.
In the short period of six months since moving into our new Center and hiring an Executive Director. TOHR has substantially increased its service to the GLBT commnunity. The number of calls received on the GLBT Info Line grew 300%. The number of meetings held at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center doubled. Our cooperative work with allied organizations has grown dramatically—we have presented the day-long Questions on Marriage: A Conference on Marriage Equality, hosted a month-long residency of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, worked with PFLAG and others to present two candidate forum events and a panel discussion on the legal implications of the Oklahoma anti-gay marriage amendment, coordinated the Tulsa GLBT History Project Lecture. and participated in the Say No To Hate Coalition and its hate speech task force.
(contimted on p. 3)
From the President
The Holidays Present Special Challenges
Every year at this time my partner and I have our annual ’"What are we going to do for the holidays?" discussion. This year, we are skipping Thanksgiving and Christmas with the family. For us, holidays are our choice. I know that for many, holidays become a time of angst because their family takes the position that we can come but only if our partner does not. Each of us has to make our own choices when faced with families who feel this way. Our families are in effect saying, "choose us or choose your partner." For some, this position is an absolute and will rarely change; for others it is only a test to see how "committed" we are to "being gay" or to our partners.
What we should remember is that it is okay to make whatever choices we want. Whether we want to go be with our families or not is our decision and there is no reason we should feel any shame or guilt. After the events of this past year, some of us will find comfort in being with family; for others our families can be toxic. If your family is one that is not supportive, you should have an exit strategy. Don’t ride with others who may not want to leave when you do. Know when you are getting angry or depressed. If traveling long distances, make a hotel reservation for each night even if you have to cancel it. Once when visiting my sister at her invitation, my partner and I arrived only to be told that we had to sleep in different rooms. Be explicit with the ground rules before you arrive. Don’t leave things to chance. Even if you have had prior good experiences with family, be prepared this year for those family members who have been less supportive to be more vocal. Don’t expect them to be more difficult, just be prepared for how you are going to react.
A New Year’s Resolution That Does Everyone Good
One of the most important New Year’s Resolutions that I ever made was to be out in every aspect of my life. After the vote in Oklahoma this year, it is important to me to let as many of the three-out-of-four Oklahomans who voted for State Question 711 know that I am still here, still gay, and still deserving of equal relationship rights. For me, this will likely manifest itself in more LGBT t-shirts, buttons, etc. While Wild Oats may be a relatively safe place to stock up, I expect that I will also do some shopping at Walmart and Homeland. I urge all of us to be out in 2005. Come by the Center and get stickers for your cars, jewelry items, flags and windsocks to decorate your front porch. Let 2005 be the year that we let our PRIDE shine.
[signature of Mark Bonney]
President, TOHR
John D. Cutrlght, MSW, LCSW
Counselor & Psychotherapist
4870 S. Lewis Avenue, Suite 190
Tulsa, OK 74105
918-284-0123
Children + Adolescents + Adult + Couples
published by
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR)
PO Box 2687
Tulsa, OK 74101
918-743-4297
www.tohr.org
email: community@tohr.org
Office location
Tulsa GLBT Community Center
5545 East 41st Street
Tulsa, OK 74135
TOHR Board of Directors
Executive Board
President—Mark Bonney
1st Vice President—Dr. Laura Belmonte
2nd~/ice President—Libby Bender
Secretary—Mike Williams
Treasurer—Dwight Kealiher
Assistant Treasurer—John Madigan
Governing Board
Director, Gender Outreach—Troy Nicholas
Director, Board Development—Ken Youngblood
Director, Fundraising—Dennis Neill
Director, Programs & Facilities—Ken Youngblood
Directors at Large
Andrew Carter
Kelly Carter
Steve Eberle
Janet Gearin
Richard Hurtig
Shelly Ledford
Anita Randza
Mike Redman
Devon Rutherford
Kaye Smith
Novia Stice
Executive Director
Michael Christopher
TOHR’s Capital Campaign
The Pyramid Project
pyramidproject.org
Chair
Sue Welch
Committee Members
Mark Bonney, Marc Frieden, Michelle Hoffman,
David Hoot, Shelly Ledford, Catheryn Mason,
Marcy Smith and Tim Williams.
TOHR is a 501(c)3 oganization operated through donations and non-paid volunteneers. Contributions are tax-deductible to the fullest extent of current United States of America tax laws.
The Torch, a publicalion of Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights, Inc. is published bimonthly with an estimated annual readership of 10,000. Subscription rates are paid contributing member dues of Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR). The Torch is protected by copyright and may not be repreduced in whole or part except by permission obtained by contacting TOHR directly. Credit must be given to TOHR. The views of the Torch are expressed in editorials only. Views expreesed in letters to the editor and other submissions are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the board of directors, contributing members or editors or leadership of TOHR. The Torch reserves the right to edit or reject any material submitted for publication. The Torch and/or TOHR is not responsible for damages due to typographical errors. Advertisements designed and created for publication in the Torch remain the property of TOHR. The Torch and/or TOHR cannot be responsible for claims by advertisers. The use of the name or likeness of a person or entity in the Torch in advertising or editorial content does not imply any sexual orientation or political association.
Copyright 2004, TOHR.
Fund-Raising Campaign (cont. from p. 1)
During the same period we presemed the annual Diversity Celebration, expanded support group programmning, established the Tulsa Rainbow Business Organization (TuRBO), increased Center attendance for social events, conducted a major upgrade of our computer systems, and launched the TOHR eNEWS email newsletter to rave reviews. And, with PFLAG and Tulsa Reaches Out, we sponsored a scientific study to assess the needs of the Tulsa GLBT Commnunity right now.
It feels like we’ve done a year’s work in just a few months, but that’s exactly the pace we need to maintain to take advantage of this unique moment in our history. The debate around marriage and the overturning of all remaining sodomy laws is bringing unpredictable attention—and opportunity. In light of and despite recent electoral backlash, hate crimes legislation, employment nondiscrimination policies, the needs of our community have become both more critically important and more attainable.
The 20-member TOHR Board of Directors and thirty dedicated volunteers of the Tulsa GLBT Community Center ask you to consider a substantial commitment of dollars in the upcoming year. The momentum of this time must be continually fed with effort, passion and funds so that we will not miss this rare opportunity to advance our rights. In six months, the number of new people who have entered the fight is more than equal to the whole movement of a year ago, and TOHR is your contact with that force, your legs in the race.
To move our community and organization forward in 2005, we are asking our contributors to consider raising their level of support this year. Please send in the donation form available in this newsletter. We are deeply grateful for your help!
Estimated Revenues
Oct 1 2004 - Sept 30 2005 - $160,000
Other, 4%
Memberships, 3%
Grants, 19%
Benefits, 4%
Diversity Celebration, 40%
Donations & Pledges, 30%
Estimated Expenses
Oct 1 2004 - Sept 30 2005 - $160,000
Programs & Marketing, 14%
Other, 5%.
Wages & Benefits, 29%
Facilities & Office, 28%
Diversity Celebration, 24%
Kelly Kirby, CPA, PC
Certified Public Accountant
"For All Your Accounting Needs"
Gay men and lesbians face many special situations, whether single or as couples. We are proud to serve this community.
4815 South Harvard, Suite 424
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74135-3066
918.747.5466
Tulsa GLBT Information Line
743-GAYS
(743-4297)
White Lion Pub
Tulsa's Authentic English Pub
6927 S. Canton Ave.
Just 2 blocks East of Yale off 71st Street
491-6533
TOHR Board members and officers at November annual Board retreat, All Souls Unitarian Church, led by Tulsa facilitator Barbara Bannon.
Easy as Pie!
Holiday Shop Online and Help the Pyramid Project
Sue Welch
With the Holidays upon us, The Pyramid Project wants you to shop till you drop! You’ve helped raise just over $300,000 in pledges and donations to purchase a permanent site for the Tulsa GLBT Community Center. We want to help you do even more good and it not hurt a bit. Shop online through the iGive secure network of over 550 brand name stores and give to the Pyramid Project without it costing you a penny! In addition, if you join iGive through the How to Donate page of the Pyramid Project website, PyramidProject.org, and make a purchase within 30 days, the Pyramid Project receives an EXTRA $5.00 at NO cost to you.
Here’s how it all works: iGive Members are the folks doing the shopping. Members accrue money by shopping via iGive and iGive works on the behalf of each member to direct a percentage of that member’s purchases to the Pyramid Project—that’s up to 26% of each purchase at NO cost to you!
When supporters use the joinLink on the Pyramid Project website, Pyramid Project is automatically pre-selected to benefit! Every single supporter’s online shopping at over 550 popular stores means a donation for TOHR’s Pyramid Project!
Remember, each new person who joins and shops within 30 days means a $5.00 bonus for TOHR’s Pyramid Project, so do it now! Use your Join link at PyramidProject.org.
HOUSE FOR RENT in one of Tulsa’s few "blue precincts," $700 per month in historic Yorktown, St. John’s hospital area. Two bedrooms and one bath, a large kitchen, generous living room, separate dining room and glassed in back porch. Amenities include central air, washer, dryer, dish-washer and refrigerator! Leave a message for Ralph at 743-6863.
GARRETT LAW OFFICE, RC.
Garrett Law Office, P.C. is an association of lawyers with one common goal: to serve the public interest by representing injured persons or persons with property damage who are susceptible to possible unfair treatment by insurancecompanies.
Our practice areas are:
INSURANCE DISPUTES
PERSONAL INJURY
WRONGFUL DEATH
JOB-RELATED INJURIES
SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY
PRODUCT LIABILITY
SECURITIES FRAUD
BANKRUPTCY
Call our office for a free consultation before you commit to signing a release which could compromise the value of your claim and your legal rights.
1-888-GARRETT
In Tulsa:
622-9292
Remember - The adjuster works for the insurance company –
WE WORK FOR YOU!
UPCOMING EVENTS CALENDAR
December 1, 15 – Coming Out Group. Support for people making the journey out of the closet, fadlitated by John D. Cutright, MSW, LCSW. This is not formal counseling, but an open discussion between peers with guidance by a trained facilitator, and is very helpful in the difficult coming out process. Meets the first and third Wednesdays at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 E. 41st, at 7:00pm.
December 7, 14, 21 – Free anonymous HIV testing at the Center, 5545 E. 41st Street at our H.O.P.E. Testing Clinic, 6:00 to 8:00pm every Tuesday except Dec. 28
December 3, 10, 17 – Films at the Center. Join us at 6:30pm Fdday evenings for movie night... fun, film and friends at the Center, 5545 E. 41st
December 3, 4, 7 – Council Oak Men’s Chorale and Women of Council Oak Holiday Concert, "Home is Where the Heart Is" at Trinity Episcopal. For tickets go to www.counciloak.org.
December 6 – Diversity Celebration Planning Meeting at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 E. 41st. Anyone interested in being part of this annual June pride celebration is encouraged to attend.
December 13 – PFLAG/TOHR Holiday Dinner. Come and join us for the annual holiday dinner at 6:30pm at Fellowship Congregational Church, 2900 South Harvard. The Council Oak Men’s Chorale and Women of Council Oak will entertain, and PFLAG will present the annual SWAN Awards. It’s a covered dish dinner, so bring a side dish, salad or dessert to share.
December 17 – The dinner and lecture, GAY MARRIAGE, THE CONSTITUTION, AND AMERICAN POLITICS, features speaker Dr. Paul Finkelman, Chapman Distinguished Professor of Law at the University of Tulsa, at 6:30 p.m. in Kaiser-Miller Auditorium, 1719 South Owasso, Tulsa. The cost for adults is $10.00 per person, for children 4-12, $5.00. Tots are invited to join us at $1 per meal. Dinner reservations and baby sitting arrangements may be made by calling the Synagogue at 583-7121 or dropping a note to suzanne@bnaiemunah.com.
December 18 – Test Fest 2004, a day-long fair-style fun fest and free anonymous HIV testing. Door prizes, food, free sex supplies, games, and hot films on the big screen TV, with visits from very special guests. 10am to 7pm. Bring all your friends, get tested and know your status! Hosted by TOHR and H.O.P.E. Testing Services At the Center, 5545 E. 41st.
December 27 – PFLAG Support Meeting. Have a gay someone special in the family and need someone to talk to? This is the place. Call 749-4901 if you would like to attend.
January 5, 19 – Coming Out Group meets the first and third Wednesday of every month at the Ceriter, 5545 E. 41st. (See December 1 above for details.)
January 6 – JUST WHAT DO WE NEED? is a presentation at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 East 41st Street at 7:00pm focusing on a large-scale needs assessment commissioned last Spring by TOHR, PFLAG and Tulsa Reaches Out, to evaluate the needs of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community in the Tulsa area. Join us for the presentation by Janice Nicklas of the Community Service Council and a discussion following. This special presentation is TOHR’s monthly membership meeting for January. Desserts and coffee wilt be served.
January 10 – Presentation at the PFLAG monthly meeting of the GLBT Needs Assessment by Janice Nicklas of the Community Service Council at 7:30pm, Fellowship Congregational Church, 2900 South Harvard.
January 12 – Diversity Celebration Planning Meeting at the Tulsa GLBT Community Center, 5545 E. 41st. Open to all.
January 24 – PFLAG Support Meeting. Have a gay someone special in the family and need someone to talk to? This is the place. Call 749-4901 if you would like to attend.
February 4 – TOHR Members Covered Dish Dinner. Bring a dish to share and hear speakers every month on the first Thursday at the Center, 5545 E. 41st Street.
IMPORTANT: To get updates on events plus links to important LGBT news items, subscribe to the free TOHR eNEWS email newsletter by sending email with the words ENEWS SUBSCRIBE in the subject line to mchristopher@tohr.org.
Genesis Ministries
2419 S. 83rd E. Avenue, Tulsa, OK
Meets Sunday 11 a.m. for service, Wednesday 7 p.m. for Bible Study, Singing and Prayer
GLBTQ Youth in Tulsa Have Found a Home
Ken Draper
OpenArms Youth Project in Tulsa has been serving the GLBTQ youth ages 14-21 for almost three years now. As the Center has grown, the youth have been the driving force behind its success and the formation of a programming schedule. The project is governed by both a youth board and an adult board of directors. The youth design the group activities and the adult board oversees grant writing and fundraising as well as the record keeping and major growth activities.
Since opening the first Center in May of 2002, OpenArms relocated to a larger location in December 2003, and in February 2004 expanded to add additional office space for computer and Internet access, after-school activities, and safe sex outreach programs. OpenArms offers training for youth to become H1V/STD peer educators and 32 youth have now been certified in the extensive training curriculum that was designed and written by the University of Oklahoma.
OpenArms provides a variety services to youth including counseling, group meetings, social activities, mentor partners, after-school programs, HIV/STD education and other activities to help youth cope with their specific needs. OpenArms strives to reach youth where they are in their process of "coming out," providing many different levels of information based on their own requirements. OpenArms is an organization built for youth and designed by youth to reach them where they are and to fill the gaps in services that they identify in the community.
OpenArms Youth Project is funded in part by the youth it serves via a cover charge for social activities and also by community donations. Contact OpenArms at 918-838-7104, info@openarmsproject.org
FALL FUND DRIVE 2004
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights extends heartfelt thanks to the generous donors to our Fall Fund Drive. Below are listed the names of those with gifts or pledges $100 or more who have given us permission to acknowledge them publicly. Thank You!
$5,000 and above
Dennis Neill and John Southard
$1,000 to $4,999
Mark Henry
Cisar Holt, Inc.
Doug Campbell
Kaye Smith
Michael Williams and Lance Pillstrom
$250 to $999
Lamont Lindstrom
Duane MenNe and Mike Mills
Tom Neal
Gregg Smith and Kevin Burleson
Michael Green
$100 to $249
Janet Gearin
Andrew Carter
D. Bruce Lewis
Rev. and Mrs. Russell Bennett
Fred Bassett
tulsa glbt history project
HISTORY PROJECT Memories
Tulsa has a rich history of gay "spaces"—bars mad clubs where the community could come together to relax and mingle, and to escape the everyday surveillance of mainstream society. Do you remember these old favorites of the 1940s—1970s?
** TROPICAL GARDENS
** BLUE NOTE LOUNGE
** BLUE HAVEN
** MILWAUKEE TAVERN
** BISHOPS BAR
** St. MORITZ
** LITTLE MEXICO
** THE DOGHOUSE
** SKOO-BEE-DO
** FRIENDS LOUNGE (a.k.a. THE FRUIT LOOP)
** TRACY’S
** THE NEW EDITION
** THE ZEBRA LOUNGE
** TAJ MAHAL
** THE GALA
** TIM’S PLAYROOM CLUB
** THE CLUB
** THE QUEEN OF HEARTS
** NEW YORK, NEW YORK
** THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH
** PAPILLON
** THE ZEBRA
** CARUSO’S
** ANYTHING GOES CLUB
** NEW PLANTATION CLUB
** TIM’S PLAYROOM CLUB
** ZIPPERS
** TULSA MINING COMPANY
** SEEKERS CHOICE
** OVER THE RAINBOW
** DANTES
MEMBERSHIP
"I'm a member because it just seems to me like citizenship... working for our civil rights is a duty of my citizenship in the gay community." ~ C.B., Tulsa
"Education is the most important thing we can do right now to gain our rights. Thank you for doing this work. Keep it up!" ~ A.J., Tulsa
BENEFITS OF MEMBERSHIP IN TULSA OKLAHOMANS FOR HUMAN RIGHTS include many nice privileges, but the one that really means something important is that you will be participating in a very meaningful way in the rights of every gay man, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered person in Tulsa to live with full citizenship and to pursue a life with equality. The levels listed below are just guidelines—anything you want to contribute will be deeply appreciated. You can give the full amount today, or instruct us to bill your credit card monthly for a certain amount and for a specific number of months. If you like, you can even make your gift online at www.tohr.org... just click the DONATE button.
Membership is for one full year from the date you join.
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Check this box if you DO NOT want to be acknowledged by name in our publications: []
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IMPORTANT: Email Address
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0 Volunteering for Diversity Celebration
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0 Individual $30
0 Family/Household $50
0 Patron $100
0 Business/Organization $ 100
0 Donor’s Circle $300+ $__________
0 NEW Student or AmeriCorps Volunteer Membership $15
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200,000 people in northeastern Oklahoma deserve equality regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights works for legal equality and social acceptance—not just tolerance—for the gay, lesbian bisexual, transgender and allied community of northeast Oklahoma through advocacy, education, leadership and unity. Thousands of callers are served each year through the Tulsa GLBT Info Line (743-GAYS). 10,000 visitors are served through the Tulsa GLBT Community Center and annual Diversity Celebration. Hundreds attend conferences, lectures and other educational opportunities designed to build positive perceptions of the GLBT community—both in the community and among ourselves.
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights works for you.
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THANK YOU!
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PO Box 2687
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Sweeping Away Hate in Sand Springs
220 Attend Vigil... (continued from p. 1)
have been making in Tulsa’s faith communities all came together for a candlelight vigil. We experienced one of those moving moments that have become all too rare in life—a moment in which we all felt the support and love of oue another. And we encouraged each other to participate in one more positive action, a Silent Sweep Against Hate at the high school after Phelps’ group had gone.
Fred Phelps had eleven people in his hate-filled protest of the churches that day, and even fewer at the high school the next morning. After strongly encouraging our members to stay away from the high school protest, hoping to focus media attention away from Phelps’ people and onto our own, I met Don Satterthwaite and Vernon Jones of our sister group, Oklahoma Freedom and Equality Coalition, at the school at 7:30am. We were there to observe and to document. Vernon and I interviewed two of Phelps’ people on video, then crossed the street to interview the counter-protesters. Despite our efforts to keep the crowds down, 240 people showed up in opposition to the "God Hates Fags" signs. Most were high school and college students, and there were some parents. Most expressed a deeply felt need to stand up and do something. Some didn’t feel quite satisfied yet.
Silent Sweep Against Hate
I spoke with the principal, Robert Franklin, to let him know that we were planning something for that afternoon when school was to let out. We wanted students to see something very positive. Someone on the Say No To Hate Coalition had reminded me of the Silent Sweep Against Hate that was held after the Ku Klux Klan had a Tulsa rally. We called the organizers of that action and got their help in plauning a new sweep demonstration to rid Charles Page High School of homophobia. The principal was a little wary, but he knew we were the good guys.
We gathered at about 2:30, brooms in hand, on the sidewalk across the driveway from the high school’s main entrance. As the parking lot emptied, we swept the sidewalks and heard cheera of solidarity from students. Sweepers included TOHR donors, friends from the Jewish Federation and the Say No To Hate Coalition, PFLAG, several churches, Open Arms Youth Project, the University of Tulsa’s BLGTA, United Campus Ministries and students from Tulsa Community College. In all, about 75 people attended the sweep. Between the vigil, the students who stood against Phelps, mad the Sileut Sweep, we numbered about 535 people against Phelps’ meager dozen. The guest of honor? The young man whom Sand Springs high school students refused to hate: Michael Shackleford. He was there throughout—from the vigil through the sweep, and his presence encouraged all of us.
Radical Inclusivity
Since the first articles on a Sand Springs high school student appeared a few months ago, Washington Post correspondent Anne Hull has quietly followed the young man’s story. I’ve skipped many of the details of the vigil because Anne’s story tells it so much better than I could. (I hope you’ll read it at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn!articles/A48197-2004Novl3.html.) Of Rev. Russell Bennett’s words that night, she writes:
Bennett recited a Bible verse in which Jesus scolds the leaders of his time for worrying more about narrow morality than the bigger picture. ’Woe to you, hypocrites,’ the reverend said. ’For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy.’ [Michael Shackleford’s mother] Janice was quiet, listening to phrases such as ’radical inclusivity’ and quotes by Robert F. Kennedy about the long arm that bends toward justice...
As school let out [on Monday], dozens of people from Tulsa Oklahomans For Human Rights arrived with brooms. In silence, they swept the sidewalk where the Phelps protesters had been. Michael was there, sweeping. A group of students walked by. One of them, a girl with long, silky hair and a backpack, was obviously fed up with all the protests and counter-protests. ’Leave our homos alone,’ she said.
To Anne Hull and Michael Shackleford, to the students in Sand Springs, to Nancy Eggen, Russ Bennett, Cathy Elliot, Nancy McDonald, Nancy Day and everyone else who worked to pull this together on incredibly short notice, to all of the organizations and individuals who stood together against hate for two days in two towns, to the people who stayed together after the protest to go to breakfast and reimagine the future, and those who got together a few nights later to celebrate victory in the jaws of the election defeat— thank you.
After the passage of a constitutional amendment by which our full citizenship was revoked, after people with hate on their lips were triumphantly elected to the highest offices in our nation, we needed something wonderful to happen. Fred Phelps didn’t expect to bring us renewed hope and strength.
This time we’re glad he came.
Gay & Lesbian Fund FOR TULSA
If you support Non-Profits in the Tulsa Area
Consider Giving Your Tax-Deductible Contributions Through the Gay & Lesbian Fund for Tulsa. You will be able to specifically direct your funds to any of the pre-screened Tulsa Area Non-Profits, ensuring that your contributions are going to agencies which support diversity in their policies and outreach. Your contribution will be leveraged with other dollars, increasing our visibility and the benefit to the non-profit agencies of your choice. This Donor Advised Fund has been established with the Tulsa Community Foundation.
Some 40 non-profit organizations in the Tulsa Area have added Sexual Orientation to their non-discrimination policies. Please support these progressive organizations with tax-deductible contributions in the name of the Gay & Lesbian Fund for Tulsa.
Some of the organizations supported this year include: All Souls Unitarian Church Community Outreach Program; Arthritis Foundation; Arts and Humanities Council; Community Food Bank of Eastern Oklahoma; Child Abuse Network; Community Action Project; Domestic Violence Intervention Services; Family & Children’s Services: Komen Race for the Cure (Breast Cancer); League of Women Voters; Life Senior Services; Light Opera of Oklahoma; Mental Health Association; National Conference of Community and Justice; Parent Child Center of Tulsa; Philbrook Art Museum; Planned Parenthood of Northeastern Oklahoma; Tulsa AIDS Walk; Tulsa CARES; Tulsa Day Center for the Homeless; Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights; Tulsa Opera; Youth Services of Tulsa.
Making a difference in Tulsa while highlighting the important contributions of the Gay, Lesbian and Allied Communities.
For more information: www.gayandlesbianfund.org/tulsa
Email: Tulsa@gayandlesbianfund.org Or call the Tulsa Community Foundation, 918-494-8823.
Interview with a Board Member:
Ken Youngblood
Ken Youngblood chairs TOHR’s Program Committee. He is a long-time Tulsa florist and antiques dealer with an alter-ego even more famous that he is!
TORCH: Where did you grow up? Where is home for you?
KY: I grew up in Jay, OK, Huckleberry Capital of the world and home to the mighty, mighty Bulldogs high school football team. Jay is a very small town and our home was in the country. Actually, almost all of Jay is in the country except for a couple of blocks where the courthouse for Delaware County is located. My father was a patrol officer for Lake Eucha and was an employee of the City of Tulsa. My morn owned her own beauty salon which was on main street. In college, at Northeastem State, I became very involved in anti-Vietnam War activities. My first step into the world of social politics! I guess I was a radical then too. After graduating with degrees in music, business, and political science, I drifted around the country for a while. In 1976 1 ended up in Tulsa and have been here ever since. I love the city! It has changed over the years.
TORCH: When did you first get involved with TOHR?
KY: Back then it was called Oklahomans for Human Rights. There was a sister group in OKC. My first memories of that group were Christmas Parties downtown at Trinity Episcopal. Back then I felt empowered by being with other gay people. The group always made me very proud to be gay. At that time the group was more social than political and I became personally much more political and with the AIDS epidemic, TOHR started to become more political. During the mid 80s, I was always helping with fund raisers and was a regular on the Gay Hotline. I’ve been involved off and on through all these years serving as first lady during 91 and 92. What a beating!! It has to be worse than being President!!
TORCH: What are some ofyour TOHR memories??
KY: To be truthful, there have been years where we have made huge strides in the face of a lot of adversity. There have been years when the Board was absolutely awful. I believe the new board has the opportunity to take the community to a higher level but it won’t be easy. Division is easy and the low road. Unification is a much harder goal to accomplish and takes a lot of work. The reality of our community is that we are very diverse. We don’t always agree but hopefully we can all agree onat least one goal—equality and respect. One shining light in TOHR’s history is the number of great activists and leaders who have started with TOHR and then started their own specialized groups to great success.
TORCH: As TOHR Program Director, what can we expect in the future?
KY: Our new committee is currently working on many new programs but always wants to hear from the community on what YOU want. Talk to us. We will listen.
TORCH: Now tell us about PEACHES.
The truth is Peaches and Ken are very different individuals. Peaches is a created character. Peaches has helped raise more money for the community than most patrons. Ask her what she thinks (she will tell you even if you don’t).
TORCH: Alright Peaches, so what are your opinions of TOHR and the gay community?
PEACHES: Thank God somebody asked! Get off your ass Gay Community! I’m tired of you just sitting home whining that nothing goes on! A lot of you don’t support jack. TOHR is working its butt off! We need your help! Volunteer! Pay for the electric bill or the gas bill! Stop by and talk to us! Be part of the community instead of being an outsider. TOHR can only be relevant if everybody comes together and we help each other. Smooch!!
Coming Out Crowd
TOHR's Coming Out Support Group continues to meet the first and third Wednesday of every month at 7:00pm at the Tulsa GLBTCommunity Center 5545 E. 41st Street.
Counselor and therapist John D. Cutright (MSN, LCSW) leads friendly and supportive discussion.
ALL WELCOME!
TOHR is seeking insurance bids from a GLBT-owned, - managed and/or -affirming insurance agent. If you would like to bid on our insurance contract, please contact Michael Christopher at rnchdstopher@tohr.org.
STUFFING STOCKINGS FOR THE HOLIDAYS?
Don't forget the PRIDE STORE
Located inside the Tulsa GLBT Community Center
5545 E. 41st St.
Cards, Jewelry, Rainbow flags, Art Prints, Pet Gifts, Books, Candles, AND MORE!
Tuisa Oklahomans for Human Rights
P.O. Box 2687
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74101
This may be your last issue!
We’ve been mailing the Torch to a large list of past members and friends through this year. But as of the next issue, we’ll be mailing only to current Members and Volunteers! If you’d like to continue receiving the Torch, please fill out and return the Membership Form inside. Thanks!
Printed on recycled,
chlorine free paper
PFLAG/TOHR HOLIDAY DINNER
Monday, Dec 13
6:30pM
Fellowship Congregational Church
2900 South Harvard
Bring a side dish, salad or dessert to share, or just come!
Entertainment by Council Oak Men’s Chorale!
Reach thousands of NE Oklahoma’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, questioning, and allied READERS
ADVERTISE IN THE TORCH!
For rate card and specs email mchristopher@tohr.org or phone Michael at 743-4297
Files
Citation
Tulsa Oklahomans for Human Rights (TOHR), “[2005] TOHR Torch, December 2003 - January 2004; Volume 4, Issue 2,” OKEQ History Project, accessed July 26, 2024, https://history.okeq.org/items/show/882.