[1994] Tulsa Family News, January-February 1994; Volume 1, Issue 2

[1994] Tulsa Family News, January-February 1994; Volume 1, Issue 2

Politics, education, and social conversation toward Tulsa's Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual communities.

Tulsa Family News was a monthly newspaper; No. 1 issued December 1993-January 1994. The final issue available was published in September of 2001 (Vol. 8, Issue 9).

The newspaper brings up important, evolving topics of marriage, military, law, charity, Pride, TORH, HIV/AIDs, events, advice, and politics all at the local and national level.

This document is available to be seen at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center with permission.

Tulsa family News

https://history.okeq.org/collections/show/24

Tom Neal

January-February 1994

James Christjohn
David Brady
Alan G. Nyitray
Gerald Miller
Lori Livingston
Mary Trounstine
Kris Kohl

Tom Neal/Tulsa Family News

Tulsa Family News, December 15-January 14, 1994; Volume 1, Issue 1

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https://history.okeq.org/items/show/462

Tulsa---Oklahoma
Oklahoma---Tulsa
United States Oklahoma Tulsa
United States of America (50 states)

[WORK IN PROGRESS]

TULSA FAMILY NEWS
Serving Tulsa's Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Communities — Our Families of the Heart
January - February 1994, Volume 1, Issue 2

Family Support Essential For Healthy Gay Kids
WASHINGTON - A tolerant, loving and supportive environment built around young gays and lesbians could be the life saving force lhat counteracts the problems that often place them at high risk for HIV infection, said Rayford Kytle, deputy director of the news office at the U.S. Public Health Service, in a recent speech to the agency’s employees.
Kytle, who said he has experienced first-hand the intolerant attitudes towards gays and lesbians, said that a negative attitude toward homosexuality by family and friends creates a confused young adult who, in trying to come to terms with sexuality, often succumbs to isolation and low self-esteem. These traits can lead to self-destructive behaviors - such as alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, and unsafe sex - which place them at risk for all sexually transmitted diseases, and especially for AIDS.
Accepting a young, homosexual and providing a supportive famiy climate, on the other hand, could allow these youngsters to value themselves enough to want to stay healthy and live fulfilling, responsible lives, Kytle said. He added that gay and lesbian youths need community role models who promote healthy and responsible choices.

Condom TV Ads Begin

Tulsa Lesbian Bar Bombed
by Tom Neal
January 10 - Time-N-Time Again, a local bar serving primarily the Tulsa Lesbian community, suffered light damage from a home-made pipe bomb that was thrown through its door. There were patrons in the bar as well as staff but no one was hurt. Damages were limited to burns on the flooring, broken glass from the windows blon [sic.] out and signs shaken off the wall.
Police have taken descriptions of the person seen throwing the bomb. Jane Roth, owner of Time N’ Time Again, said that the description given of the bomber resembled that of an individual banned from thc bar previously. She characterized the bombing as possibly motivated by a "grudge" rather than by anti-Lesbian bias.

TJC Officials Express  Gay-Positive Attitudes

Opinion: Bigotry at City Hall
Back in July, Robert Nelson, Tulsa City Councilman, told the Tulsa World of his opposition to proposed human rights protections for Lesbians and Gay men. Although he is not a lawyer, Nelson proclaimed that current laws already protect Lesbians and Gay men from discrimination based on their sexual orientation.
In October, speaking with Mr. Nelson; I sought to learn if he genuinely believed that current laws provided civil rights protections for Lesbians and Gay men. I met with Mr. Nelson and his aide, Rebecca, in his City Hall office. When questioned about his earlier statements, he repeated them: "[there are] enough laws to cover any conditions....[he would] like us to be color-blind, politics-blind, gender-blind...." This statement is admirable but not accurate about current law.
By chance, in the middle of this conversation, City Attorney David Pauling stuck his head in Mr. Nelson’s office. We asked Mr. Pauling if there were any laws, federal, state or local which would protect citizens on the basis of their sexual orientation? Mr. Pauling stated, "...no ordinance explicitly addresses that point [providing protection based on sexual orientation] and no redress is available..."
I also shared with Mr. Nelson mv research on the issue. If you ask them, the City of Tulsa Human Rights Commission will tell you that there are no protections under any current laws from discrimination based on sexual orientation. Likewise, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for Oklahoma which enforces applicable federal law said there are no protections under any current laws from discrimination based on sexual orientation. This information which I confirmed with a few phone calls was easily available to Mr. Nelson.
He could have had a staff person call. He hadn’t asked EEOC. He hadn’t asked the Human Rights Commission. He hadn't even asked the City Attorney right there in City Hall. And even after heating my information and that of the City Attorney, he still claimed that current laws prevent sexual orientation discrimination.
Mr. Nelson’s ability to hold on to this view in spite of considerable evidence to the otherwise was only the beginning. He proceeded to say that "...what we've done in the past [laws providing civil rights protections] have hurt us....civil rights [laws] orders you to discriminate on the basis of race, creed, etc...." In some disbelief, I asked him if this meant he was opposed to the civil rights acts of the 1960’s which ended, at least officially, segregated public facilities. As I understood him, he stood by his opposition to civil rights protections, not only as proposed for Lesbians and Gay men but also those already in place to address discrimination based on race, gender, religion and so forth.
Perhaps in this context, that of a man who seems to have no understanding of the fact that Jim Crow laws did not just disappear on their own, Mr. Nelson’s declaration that the law protects Lesbians and Gay men, when it does not, is at least consistent if not logical. Robert Nelson also added that he didn’t think that there was that much discrimination against Lesbians and Gay men. He was not familiar with a 1978 study done by the City documenting discrimination in housing and employment.
However, if he’s willing to ignore what the City Attorney says to his face, then it seems likely that he would ignore any other research too. Nelson’s attitude seems to be one of: don’t bother me with the facts when I’ve already made up my mind. Mr Nelson says that Lesbians and Gay men have every right that everyone else does; and that we should not be discriminated against based on our sexual orientation, BUT that he would do everything he could to make certain such a human rights ordinance is not passed.
This politician says there should be no discrimination but opposes any effort to actually to end civil rights abuses. Perhaps what we've got here is a kind of bigotry that dares not speak its name.
The lesson in this for us, Lesbians and Gay men, our families and our friends, is that we can no longer remain complacent about local politics. Nelson is perhaps less smart about his bigotry and is therefore, more vocal but we have few friends on the Tulsa City Council. And that is something we can change. The City Council primary elections are February 1, and the election is March 1. There are folks running for some of those seats who are very good On Lesbian and Gay issues. There are some who are very bad. And there are some who might be educated.
This is where we can make a difference. Oklahoma City has come close in recent months to passing a human rights ordinance. Tulsa could pass one too if We just get fair-minded folks elected. Those candidates, new and incumbent need to hear from us. They need our volunteer hours and if we can, they need our contribution. We can make a difference in the quality of life for ourselves and for the Lesbian and Gay kids growing up now.

Tom Neal, publisher

Metropolitan Community Church of Greater Tulsa
Services
Sunday 10:45 am
Wednesday 6:30 pm
In Home Cell Groups 2nd & 4th Sundays 6:00 pm
1623 N. Maplewood Tulsa, OK 74115
Phone: (918) 838-1715

Puppy Pause II
11th & Mingo
838-7626
Open Tuesday – Saturday at 8am.
Call for Appointments, Walk-ins Also Welcome.

Tulsa Directory
* Asterisks indicate distribution points.
Bars & Restaurants
*The Alley, 3340 S. Peoria 744-0896
*Cherry St. Bakery, 1344 E. 15 583-8398
*Deep Elm, 61st & Mem. 250-0933
*Electric Circus, 606 S. Egin 587-8677
*Laff’s, 31L E. 7th 583-5233
*Paradise Bar & Grill, 12570 E. 21 234-9007
*SilverStar Saloon, 1565 Sheridan 834-4234
*Renegade, 1649 S. Main 585-3405
*TNT’s, 2114 S. Memorial 660-0856
*Time n’Time Again, 1515 S. Mem. 664-8299
*Tool Box, 1338 E. 3rd 584-1308
*Whittier Cafe, 416 S. Lewis, 582-2400
Businesses/Services
Budget Window Treatments and more! 7116 So. Mingo, Suite 102 254-2100
*Indian Terr. Coffee Company 1613 E. 15 587-1633
Galerie Europa, 203 N. Main 592-2787
Harry & Mrs. Jones, 1617 E. 15 582-1617
Jared’s, 1602 E. 15 582-3018
Ken's Flowers, 1635 E. 15 599-8070
*Living Arts of Tulsa, 224 N. Main 585-1234
*Mohawk Music, 6157 E 51 Pl 664-2951
Novel Idea Discount Books
7104 S. Sheridan 492-0335
3356 E. 51 747-6711
*Phun Stuph, 1519 E. 15 584-7486
Puppy Pause II, 11th & Mingo 838-7626
*Tomfoolery, 1565 S. Sheridan 832-0233
Organizations
ACT-UP, POB 532 74101
Names Proj. POB 3181 74101 748-3111
P-FLAG POB 52800 74152 749-4901
HIV Resource Consortium
*TOHR, 4154 S. Harvard, Ste. H-1
Gay Line lnfo. 743-4297
Shanti Hotline 749-7898
B/L/G Alliance, Tulsa U. 583-9780
Oklahoma AIDS Hotline 800-535-2437
Other
*Chapman Student Ctr. TU, 631-0000
*University Centter at Tulsa
Professionals
Theodore Campbell, MSW 1560 E 21 743-1000
Sandra J. Hill, MS, Psychotherapy 2865 E. Skelly, Ste. 215 745-1111
Tim Daniel, Atty. 352-9504, 800-742-9468
Bill Hinkle, Atty. 749-1586
Kelly Kirby, CPA, 9933 E 16 663-9399
John Kirk, Realtor 747-5800, 745-2245
Tom Neal, Designer 832-0233
Buildings/Gardens/Graphics
Religious Organizations
*Family of Faith MCC, 500 W. A Jenks 298-4622
Affirmation (Methodist) 742-8213
*MCC-Tulsa, 1623Maplewood 838-1715
Dignity/Integrity 298-4648
*Canterbury Ministry Ctr. TU, 583-9780

TULSA FAMILY NEWS
Publisher/Editor
Tom Neal

Assistant Editor
James Christjohn

918-832-0233
POB 4140
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74159

Issued on the 15th of each month, the emire contents of this publication are protected by US copyright 1994 by Tulsa Family News and may not be reproduced either in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Publication of a name or photo in no way indicates or reflects that person’s sexual orientation.
Correspondance is assumed to be for publication unless otherwise noted and becomes the sole property of Tulsa Family News. All correspondance should be sent to the address above.
Tulsa Family News is a event [sic.] & entertainment newspaper dimributed free of charge in local businesses and organizations.

CORRECTION/RETRACTION
Due to false information provided to GayNet, a news item was carried indicating that one of the "American Gladiators" had acknowledged heis [sic.] gay on one of the television programs aired nationally. The news report was erroneous and we sincerely regret any missnformation or inconvenience thereport [sic.] may have caused.

Tomfoolery!
January Sale
Tulsa’s Only Openly Gay-owned Gift Store
Pride Jewelry, Buttons, Stickers, Cards, Newsmagazines, T-shirts & More for Us, Our Families & Our Friends
Valentine's Day
Find Those Cool Gifts For Your Honey!
1565 South Sheridan, Tulsa
832-0233, Visa/MC accepted.
New Hours: Wed.-Thurs. 9-12, Fri.-Sat. 9-2am [sic.], Sun. 8-11 pm
Coming Soon: Tomfoolery! at the Alley

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 2

DO I REALLY WANT TO SURVIVE THIS EPIDEMIC?
by Alan G. Nyitray, M.S.
For many, the question in the headline above may seem absurd. The will to live is a motivation that we generally take for granted. Alarmingly, though, reports from the west coast indicate that some people are responding to the above question with ambivalence.
Workshops at the 1993 National Lesbian and gay [sic.] Health Conference in Houston and the National AIDS Update in San Francisco are shedding light on a disturbing development in AIDS epicenters. So far, most of the anecdotal information is coming fromSan Francisco. However, even here, away from the AIDS epicenters, many of us who work ih HIV prevention are starting to see how this deepening epidemic is taking its toll on the mental health of the gay community.
Health educators have long known that health behavior change is an extremely complex process. Human beings who have full knowledge of the negative consequences of certain behaviors nevertheless choose to participate in those behaviors. There is ample evidence all around us, in our friends who are overweight, who smoke, who drive without seatbelts, who abuse alcohol and other drugs, etc. The majority of the individuals who participate in these unhealthful behaviors know that their actions can have negative consequences.
Lack of knowledge is not an issue. Internal cultural factors and external societal factors drive people to do things that are harmful. The deepening AIDS epidemic itself is prompting some HIV negative men to question the quality of life they can have if most or all of their friends and family are to die of HIV. In San Francisco, approximately 50% of gay and bisexual men are infected with HIV. In some specific age groups, that percentage is much higher. For instance, in gay and bisexual men in their upper thirties in San Francisco, approximately 80% are infected with HIV.
Some gay men are unconsciously asking themselves "How much is life worth when I only have funeral after funeral after funeral to look forward to?" In such an environment, some gay men may feel that becoming HIV infected is not such a terrible scenario. Consider the words of a newly HIV-infected client of Berkeley psychologist Walt Odets:
"Becomnig newly HIV postive is a less stressful place to be. I'll probably stay healthy for another decade. I don't have to worry about seroconverting; I don't have to worry about burying my friends for the next 50 Years; and I don't have to worry about being the ’last gay man’."
This newly infected man may have had a specific intention to becomce HIV infected, or he may simply have grown weary of living through a horrible epidemic that only promises to get worse. Will this phenomenon grow as thc epidemic progresses and more people become ill? The impact on gay men’s will remain uninfected may be profound.
Counselors in AIDS epicenters who are reporting this phenomenon stress that these feelings are almost always subconscious. Admitting ambivalence about one’s own survival is taboo. Many counselors are familiar with gay men still engaging in unsafe sex, who say they are surprised, baffled, or confused about their own unsafe behavior. These men often pummel themselves and call themselves ignorant for having unsafe sex. Meanwhile, underlying motivations for their risky behavior may not be explored.
A group of San Francisco counseling professionals have begun to call for greater attention to be paid to the mental health needs of gay and bisexnal men living through this continuing AIDS epidemic. Stories from clients and friends who had recently bccomc HIV infected provoked them to speak about a "psychological epidemic" happening in AIDS epicenters.
Two of the most visible lecturers on this "phsychological epidemic" are Berkeley pshycologist [sic.] Walt Odets and San Francisco therapist Tom Moon, MFCC. Odets says that gay men in AIDS epicenter [sic.] are increasingly having to grapple with a fundamental truth of human existence: biological survival is not enough. Many people with AIDS, whose health may be deteriorating, have to deal with the issue of quality vs. quantity. Now, people without AIDS – whose lives have been changed by AIDS, nevertheless – are addressing the same concern.

Gay-Owned and Operated
PARADISE Bar & Grill
21st &" 129 East Avenue (Next to Homeland) Phone 234-9007
$3 Beer Bust, Everyday 4-7, $1.50 Pitchers, 9 to midnight.
Sunday - Free Buffet at 4:00
Monday - Pool League at 8:00
Wednesday - "Bamboo Night" Starring Gene Kernigan
Thursday - Ladies Night with $1.25 Longnecks for the Ladies
Saturday - Pool Tournament at 8:00
Open Daily 11am-2am, Food served during all open hours. Major credit cards accepted.

Town Hall Meeting
Mayor Susan Savage
7pm, Monday, February 21 (tentative)
Silver Star Saloon
1565 S. Sheridan
Call 832-0233 to confirm.
Sponsored by Simply Equal & Tulsa Family News

Parklane Building
Secure Midtown/Riverside-Area
One Bedroom Apartment
No pets, kids or waterbeds, please. Good credit/references required.
$315, bills paid, $150 deposit.
587-4640

WANTED: Part-time HIV Testing Counselor;
Gay, Lesbian & Bi-sexual Friendly;
People of Color are especially encouraged to apply.
Applications accepted until 4pm Jan. 21st. Please call Roger Morris 749-4194

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 3

News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News

Country Goes for AIDS Prevention
NASHVILLE – Beginning on Jan. 13, some 35 country music stars will be seen in no-nonsense public service announcements on radio, TV and print media to promote awareness of the AIDS epidemic. Stars featured in the "Break the Silence" ads include Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Johnny Cash, Tammy Wynette, Wynonna Judd, Dolly Parton and WillieNelson [sic.]. Singer Mark Chestnutt started the Country Music AIDS Awareness Campaign. Some of the messages in the campaign include: "Sleeping with your partner is sleeping with their past" and "Use a latex condom every time you have sex."

Michael Callen Dies of AIDS
LOS ANGELES – Michael Callen, the composer, singer and writer whose 12-year struggle with AIDS made him one of the most visible people with AIDS in the U.S., died at his Los Angeles home Monday, Dec. 27. Callen, who recorded "Purple Heart" and "The Flirtations" with the a cappella group of the same name, was also one of the founding organizers of groups suchas [sic.] the People with AIDS Coalition and the National Association of People with AIDS. He was 38.

Gender-Bender Barbies & G.I. Joes
NEW YORK – He’s big, bad, burley and butch. And the talking G.I. Joe Battle Commander is supposed to roar off things like "Attack!" and "Vengeance is mine." But instead, because of the work of a group of New York artists, several hundred of the G.I. Joes this Christmas are saying things like "Will we ever have enough clothes?" and "I love to shop with you." The group, which calls itself the "Barbie Liberation Organization" (or B.L.O.) earlier this year bought some 300 G.I. Joe and Barbie dolls and swapped the computer chips that give the popular dolls their collection of set phrases. The switched dolls were then carefully repackaged along with a flyer urging the purchasers to contact their local media "about this funny doll they got" and stealthily put back on toy store shelves in more than 40 states, Canada and England. When Christmas rolled around, of course, the effort, which the B.L.O. admits is an "unabashed publicity stunt," became public as kids found their G.I. Joes exclaiming in the voice of teenage girl [sic.], "Let’s go to the beach," and their Barbies snarling out in a deep baritone, "Eat lead, Cobra!" The B.L.O. says the voice-change operation was a head-on attack on "gender-based stereotyping in children’s toys. No one has taken up Mattel’s offer to exchange any of the butch Barbies,and [sic.] several major toy stores have reported a number of inquiries about the new gender-bender dolls.

Pulling of Gay Books Prompts Student ’Check-Out’ Protest
KANSAS CITY, Mo. – After a,school district in suburban KansasCity [sic.], Mo., Ordered the removal of two gay- and lesbian-themed young adult novels donated by the gay rights group, Project 21, students at one of the district schools began a massive "check-out" of some 2,900 library books to protest what they see as censorship of what they read. A Shawnee Mission School District committee voted Thursday Dec. 16, to return the novels All-American Boys and Annie On My Mind to Project 21after [sic.] a group of eight parents in the district complained that the books "promote homosexuality." The 11-member committee decided that the school district should return the books because "they were presented by a special interest group advocating its own agenda," and recommended that in the future the district not accept donated books at all. Shawnee Mission is the fifth area school district to be confronted with controversy about the books during the past year as anti-gay actlvists have escalated attacks on gay-positive materials in the public educational system. One of the students involved in the protest told reporters that the withdrawal of books by students would continue as long as the district tried to restrict what they could or could not read.

2nd Annual Benefit for Tulsa PFLAG
The Oklahoma City Metro Men's Chorus
Will Perform
Saturday, February 12, 1994, 8 pm
Hope Unitarian Church, 84th & Sheridan
$10 donation requested for Concert & Reception
Part of the proceeds of the benefit will go to the HIV Resource Center in appreciation of meeting space provided to PFLAG.
Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays

HIV TESTING CLINIC
EVERY THURSDAY EVENING, 7-8:30 PM
sponsored by
TOHR
FREE
ANYONYMOUS
Finger Stick Method
Daytime Testing, Tuesday and Thursday, by Appointment - Call 749-4194
By & for but not exclusive to the Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Communities

Female Condoms for Gay Men
LONDON – They’re still not yet commercially available in the U.S., but in Britain the female condom has become increasingly popular with gay men. When the condoms went on sale in England in 1992 under the brand name "Femidom," the National AIDS Manual promptly included guidelines on their use by gay men. AIDS educators say the female condom with an extra-heavy domed cap allows for more vigorous sex, reducing concerns about leaks and breakage, and because it’smade [sic.] of polyurethane rather than latex it can also be used with nonwater-based lubricants. The female condom also has a psychological advantage, educators say, because it can be iinserted in advance. The manufacturer, Wisconsin Pharmical Company; has tried to get final Food and Drug Administration approval for 6 years. The firm hopes for FDA approval early in 1994.

Gays 'Family Members' in NY
ALBANY, N.Y. – New York state’s housing agency may consider gay and lesbian couples as "family members" the state high court has ruled. The decision will permit surving partners to linherit rent-controlled housing in the state.

Anti-Gay Campaign in Arizona
PHOENIX, Ariz. – A statewide petition campaign to prohibitlegislation [sic.] outlawing anti-gay bias has been launched in Arizona. Supporters of the anti-gay initiative proposal, based on Colorado's Amendment 2, will have to gather more than 150,000 signatures by July 7 to qualify the initiative for theballot [sic.] next year.

Idaho Legislators Aren't Anti-Gay
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho – According to an Idaho Falls Post Register survey, only 9 of the Idaho's [sic.] 105 legislators support an initiative sponsored by the Idaho Citizens Alliance to prohibit civil rights protections covering sexual orientation. Voters in the state will vote on themeasure [sic.] in November 1994.

Residents Trying to Block MCC
MATTHEWS, N.C. – Two dozen families in the Charlotte, N.C., community of Matthews have gone to court in an effort to prevent the New Life Metropolitan Community Church from opening its newly purchased church in their community because many of its parishionhers are gays and lesbians. But Rev. Robert Darst of New Life MCC, with the support of the Charlotte Area Clergy Assn., is fighting back. "If they want to buy it [the church  property] from us,we’ll [sic.] sell it to them - at a profit, of course. We’ll make money off their homophobia," he said.

Mass. Student Bias Law Signed
BOSTON – Mass. Gov. William Weld signed a law barring bias against students in public schools in the state because of their sexual orientation. It is the first such state law in the U.S. and was approved by the legislature after 2 previous attempts at passage had failed.

FBI Investigating Colorado Mail
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – The FBI is investigating reports of hate mail being sent to readers who wrote letters to the editor of a new weekly The Colorado Springs Independent as a possible violation of First Amendment rights by someone upset with the paper’s anti-Amendment 2 editorial positions. Most of the anonymous letters handed over to the FBI so far are signed simply "The Concerned Americans" and are rife with Christian references, veiled threats and sexual obscenities. One 63-year-old woman, for example, wrote a letter to the editor that was published in The Independent merely suggesting the paper use a larger typeface so she and other older readers with vision problems could read it more easily. She received a letter from "Concerned Americans" calling her a "weak-minded sheep" and indicated in explicitly sexual language that she should be sodomlzed. The letter also warned, "Do not attempt to write more letters." John Weiss, editor of The Idependent has handed all the anonymous letters to the FBI which is investigating to determine if the author or authors of the threatening letters have violated federal civil rights laws, particularly in the area of suppressing First Amendment guarantees of free speech. The weekly newspaper has also offered a $1,000 reward for information leading to the conviction of the anonymous letter writers.

Couples Equality in Baltimore
BALTIMORE – Baltimore’s Board of Estimates has ruled that same-sex couples will get the same health and family benefits as married couples do under the city's domestic partners program. The city workers' partners plan doesn't go into effect until 1995, however.

Children's Wish: A Cure for AIDS
NEW YORK – Responses from the North Pole Poll, a nationwide survey of children conducted by Nintendo of America Inc., indicate that American kids have their own societal concerns, chief among them the AiDS epidemic. The survey of more than 3,000 children, ages 7 to 13, found that more than 26% of them, given a holiday wish that could come true, would ask for a cure for AIDS. That response was the most popular of the 11 choices given, ranking higher than elimination of drugs, crime, homelessness, war, racism or gangs.

Canada More Positive About Gays
TORONTO – Maclean’s, Canada’s largest circulation news magazine, has just published its annual national poll of what Canadians think about a variety of issues, including homosexuals, Overall, 56 percent of those responding agreed with the statement, "It would be fine if one of my children turned out to be gay." In Quebec province, where more than a third of all Canadians live, an astounding 85 percent of the respondents agreed with the statement. When presented with the statement, "It would bother me if openly gay and lesbian people were teaching in schools," 51 percent of the respondents disagreed or strongly disagreed, with only 13 percent agreeing that openly gay teachers would bother them. Contrasted with American attitudes about homosexuals, a 1993 U.S. News & World Report poll found 52 percent of those surveyed oppose teaching students anything about homosexuality in the public schools.

More Opposition to 'Sister Spirit'
ELLISVILLE, Miss. – At a packed meeting Monday, Jan. 3, in rural Jones County, Mississippi, residents created the Ovett Community Defense Fund in an effort io prevent lesbians Wanda and Brenda Henson from converting a 120-acre former farm into a feminist retreat. Locals set up the legal fund to help finance lawsuits against Camp Sister Spirit on the grounds that it would create a local nuisance and lower the area's property values. Sister Spirit earlier recieved the support of Ben Chaney, whose brother James was one of 3 civil-rights workers murdered in Philadelphia, Miss., in:1964, who said the women's retreat had every, right to exist and operate its literacy center, food bank, clothes closet, crisis phone line and displaced homemakers’ program. Chaney has even led a caravan of several cars full of people who acted as late-night guards at the Sister Spirit property. The women have been the continuing object of threats and the property vandalized since local ministers stirred up opposition to what they termed a "lesbian compound."

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 4

News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News

Sir lan Enters the ’Ring’
HOLLYWOOD – Sir Ian McKellen, the openly gay noted British actor, is set t0 co-star as a political adviser in the long-buried Orson Welles movie project, "The Big Brass Ring," based on a fictional story about a U.S. presidential candidate who must hide his homosexuality to run for office. No date has been set for the delayed film to go into production.

Cleric Wants Condom Ads Pulled
INDIANAPOLIS – Indiana Roman Catholic Archbishop Daniel Bucchlein called on local TV and radio broadcasters not to air the federal government’s newly released public service announcements promoting condom use as part of a new AIDS-prevention effort. Bucchlein said condoms encourage young people to engage in casual sex, but most of state's stations [sic.] said they would run the government PSAs anyway.

A Very Natural Thing
ROTTERDAM, The Netherlands - The Staat~-Zeitung newspaper reports that 2 male flamingos at.the Rotterdam Zoo .have bonded st) closely that the~y repe-atedlv tried to steal eggs fro~ nesting females to ~aise their own baby. Moved by the persistence of the gay birds, ztx)keepers linallv gave them:their own fertili~e.d egg which th~ tw()-hatched ~nd"be-~ gan rinsing as their own. Virtual Safe Sex SANFRANCISCO - The highqech.computer world inched forward (.maybe: even 8 inches forward) with the premiere of "Dream Lovers:’ the first gay gex CD-ROM aLthc MacWorld Exp0,. For.the computer illiterati who don’t know a CD-ROM from Baba Ram Dass, suffice it to sa~:: that ROM (or "Read- Only Memory:’) is t(3 3’our average desktop computer what~ideotape is to 8mm film - a high-tech zoom that reproduces and g~nerates 9mazmgly sharper, mote detailed images. With mteractwe capabilities, CD-ROM allows the user to manipulate the images in a rariety of ways not possible in awe conventional medium - which means you c~n do a lot more With "’Dleana Lo\ers’~ star Joe Romero than you ever thought possible. Romero,.who atien~led the opening of the 10th annual. MacWorld Expo where "Dream Lovers" was..., ahenl-... being exhibited, said he was surprised by the "number of women who are just going crazy over it." (Well if you’ve ever seen the swarthY’ Romero’s "it," you wouldn’t be all thin su{- iSrised.) But Wi[ihout batting an eyelash, R0mero points out with perhaps )ustii:iable pride of ownership, that the program’s windows displaying the sex-acts menu "is the largest window size. The heterosexual versions for pore CD-ROMs] have small windows." And bennuunmnnnnn. nnnunnnunnnm ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ are not rncre hubris or isomc optical illusion. It’s tough work, but somconc’s gol to do it. What Sign Are You? DETROIT ~ Just thought y"ou."d h" kc to know that, according to Patricia Fedclum of the Deaf Hearing & Speech Center in Detroit. deal" Americans have generally stopped using a limp wrist to sign the wo~d indicating a homosexual, As a sign of the" times, the ne~ves~ sign is simply the letter Q for (guess what?l the Wt)rd "~ueer." Settlement in FBI BiasSuit SAN FRANCISCO -The FBI has agreed not to discrimi.natc against ga3 and lesbian employees based on sexual orientation or conduct as parl of a settlement :of a class-action lawsuit filed b\’ former San Diego FBt agent Frank Buttinoia 20-year-\:etcran of the climc agency fired when tlie bureau learned hc is gay Under the tem3s of the Sctd~mcnt, the FBI does not admit any wrongdoing but agrees to formally adopt ffuidelincs prohibiting discrimina~ i0n.against appl cants, and,employees ’oh.?thc gffunds of s~xual orientation. ~hc ,agency:retains, howc.~,’er~ the option to.imcsti- ¯ gate h~iw anapplicant’s ~exua 6(mductmlght affect their31cl~d~:act~r or:judgment~ The FBI will pay Buttino an undiscl0sed:aim)unt of money, including court costs, and he will be allowed to receive his pension, But Buttino .... : : will not get his job with ihc FBI back..As part of the agreement, the FBI will accept its first openly lesbian applicant Dana Tillson, a 32- year-old private inve-stigator the:biarcau had earlier rejetted after learning shcis a lesbian. NationaI,HIV Magazine Launched CHICAGO -- "17te Advocate rel~)rt~that the premiere issue of Plus: The MagiStrate About .-. Livbtg attd.HIV~riil be laun~hC~i’.this month Thdmagazine will:f(x:us on lifestyleissues and daily concerns the difficulties fa~cd by people infe’ctcd with’thc’,vitUs but not Usu"allv ad-’ -Tdr(~sed :i n ~i~ etiical~ibli~:a-tii-m~,"in~lud~r~g ca-:- reer deCisions, dating~ famil;,) relation~hips -- ¯ andunconvehtiona]- ~j~proac~aes :to staving health\. " " Pneumonia Treatment Causing Shifts in Opportunistic Diseases BOSTON -- The New England Journal of Medicine rel:x)rts thatthe eddy and widespread " treatment of AIDS-l-elated i~ncumonra in the U.Si:ischanging the pattern of illnesses related t0 HIV. Because drugs treating pneum~x:\’stis carrel pneumonm extend life expectan~y.of people xvith AIDS without stopping the deeli, he of the immune system, 4 types of AIDSrelated illnesses occur more frequently: mvcobacterium avium complexdisea~e, cs~pha’geal candidiasis, wasting syndrome, and cvtomegalovirus disease.The lbur, once rclati~,-eh: uncommon, arc now fairly often found among patients, (c) 1994 by GayNet N(~ws Sers:ice. m m m m m m-man n mm m u m |m h mm m m,m m n ~. Computer Matching Service Linking with one or n|orc like-minded partners is now as simple as making a few keystrokes, thanks to The Matchmaker. a world-wide matching service for the gay and lesbian world serviceC°mmUn~sll\"[hclnfirstall°wiintgsofkind.Graphical Interface Forl-nat images of the users to be exchanged, this Users Of the Matchmaker can find new friends, potential mates; or just someone to chat. with about similar interests. Travelers k.x~king for compat ble people indistant cities find the service . \cr\ helpful for locating new friends in destilmtion cities. - AS With most matchmaking scr\iccs, a questionnaire is filled Out by the user, describing him or herself, as well as indicating preferences for traits desired in a partner. The computer selects a lnatch:fron~ filcs,"based on gender, location agcl and percentage of matched interests, similar ties and desired qualities. For more inl:ormation about The Matchmaker..contact: ~ .Arnic HoldclL Looking Glass Services, Voice: 918.838. 1222, BBS: 918.838.7575 or 7755 P.O. Box.33076. Tulsa~ OK 74153 PFLAG Support Groups Parents.and FriendsOf L¢:sbians and Gays, T’ulsa Chapter in a partnership with the HIV Rcsourc( Center and the Vi~.;iting Nurse A~sociation is offering a support.groul~ for oarents, friends and l;amily of those persons:living with HIV/AIDS. The groupis m_ceting.the’tirst dnd third Wednesda~,,s,of eat!h month at 6:30 pro: P~G ~s also sD.mS0i-ihg a:RAP~roup lbr lhmih’, liicnds~Ga~rs ~md Lesbians who ~ antto talk about:iheir ex~rie~ccs on,tJ~i(!.ij0urncy toundcrslan’ding and aCCeptanCe This group will meet on Bo~h’~f.~hesc.’~rot~psWill meet-at-ihcI~llV Resource Ccmeri~l154 South Harvard, SUiie H, Conlcrence_: R~x!m:For mi.~r~ information,, please call the PFLAG Hotline~ 749-490I., : Ne~ QommumtyBulidmg Orgamzatlon ., formed]Goal: building a stronger,, healthier nded ]gersons Organizational meeting: Psychotherapy. &Clinical Sensitive to the Challenges of Gay, Lesbian, .Bisexual & Transgendered lndividuals,~ Col.t~les & -Famifies. 2865 E, Skelly:DriVe,..Ste. 215 Tulsa, Oklahoma 741’05~ 745~1111 T H E Show Company City of Angels TPAC Jan 18-20 596-7111 Chapman Theatre, PAC $29 Ed I~letzcer as TPAC Trust Albert Einstein 596-7111 Jan 21. Williams Theatre, PAC $12 Glass. Menagerie Theatre Tulsa Jan 21-30 596-7111 Studio 1, PAC $12.50 Phillip Bianconi Philharmonic Jan 22,Z3 596-7111 Chapman Theatre, PAC $25 Armchair Traveler Celebrity Attrac. January 24 596-7111 Chapman Theatre, PAC $6 One Mo" Time American Theatre Co. Feb. 4-12 596-7111 Williams Theatre, PAC Prices vary.. Romeo & Juliet Tulsa Ballet Feb 11-13 596-711"1 Chapman Theatre, PAC Prices vary. Wait Until Dark Community Playhouse of Broken Arrow Feb. 11-20 258-0077 BACP $10;$8 G A Y. . L What Is. Meaningful Theater, Anyway? by Gerald Miller, M.A. What is "Meaningful Theatre", anyway? Today, political "correctness" has translated "meaningful" into a6stracted heavy drama aimed at the issue of the moment. Those scripts don’t hold a monopoly on beingmeaningful or valuable. Sometimes, there,is value in being simply.., entertained. Sometimes,~being able to escape the cares and concerns of daily life can be even more meaningful to an audience. At Theatre Tulsa, our mission statement enunciates that we, place equal emphasis on both the quality Of the production and the-~ quality_of the "e~perierice ~’or the participants". By "participants", we mean the talent pool, the volunteers, and the audience. Our objective is to provide the best quality theatrical entertainment we can, from the resources available in the community.. Our objective witli this approach was to provide for the community of actors and the local audience to, participate in the best of live theater. " That best may sometimes be dark dramas. and sometimes frothy comedies or musicals. The very best and most meaningful theater will be entertaining in the delivery of its message. Good drama, by definition, has to be accessible to the audience2 If the work-is not -entertaining, there will be no audience. If there is no audience, how" can anyone have an associated "meaningfulY experience? As Carolyn and Nancy, professionals intheir mid-thirties smile and exchange silx er-- and-amethyst bands, the’ wedding p~. of old friends witness. Later, a midnight cel~brati0n supper will include Nancy’s mother and Carolyn’s two children: Star and Brigid choose to simplify’ their commitment ceremony, reciting vows and making love on a secluded stretch of beach in Aruba. Michael and Kevin, antiquedealers~ who have co-habitated for three years opt for the traditional trappings of matrimony: tuxedos o1~ dove grey, exchanging rings and " vows in the Universalist Church in Boston, GAY:MARRIAGE?. Massachusetts. Tri.sh and Patty wear match- " NOTHING-NI::IN, ing gowns, organdy and ¯ white lace lbr their Au- JUST OUT tumn union. No one gives th~ bride away; willingly she takes the IOF i~’lE e,OS~r! arm Of herlover as they ~ . - stand-beneath- the laden grape arbor in their Madison, Wisconsin backyard. Jo and Kelly, armbikers, wear leather and. commit "themselves .in a celebration of joined life, riding Harley Davids0n motor: cycles in Colorado. And in windy Chicago Tim and.Pat quietlyre-affirm their sixteen- Charley’s Aunt Theatre Tulsa ¯ Feb 18~27 596-7H I Williams Theatre, PAC $12.50 TOM NEAL DESIGNER Buildings, Gardens & Graphics 832.0233 The Drunkard Saturdays, 8:15 p.m.,S8 I F E S T Y L E Gay and Lesbian Committment Ceremonies by Lori Livingston, COUPLES have beei~ sharing life and hearth for cons, albeit discreetly. Still technically not legal ~n " the United States (in the Netherlands, howevcr -,. same-sex unions are given the same status as heterosexual counterparts), gay marriage is gaining slow acceptance. In t989, an estimated three¯ hundred gay men and lesbians clad in attire ranging from formal to ultracasual and hailing from as far away as Japan came together on.the streets of our nation’s capital and publicly acclaimed (heii" unions in a great Gay Wedding: Churches and religious institutions such as the Universalist Meeting House and Unitarian sects accept and encourage gay marriages, offeri ng same-sex couple counseli ng and performing ~r,’ices. Those gay men and lesbians who choose not to affirm " theirjoining religiously ¯ ¯ " can and.do create their ..own personal expressions of shared love, as varied and diverse as the individuals themselves:~ Editedby BeckT Butler, Cerernonies of the Heart (Seal Press) is a documented account of same-sex ctnnm~tment ceremonies. Well-reyear relationship every 365 days;- sharing a searched, it is a moving testimony of gay [~ottle of Cognac and a reading 6f Dicken’s A couples acknowledging their unions, both tra- ¯ ¯ o¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ o ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯. ¯ ¯ Christmas Carol each ChristmasEve. ditionally and avant-garde. ¯ Commitment ceremonieS. Matrimony. E,s- AS we approach the twenty-first century, ¯ poused union. Across the United States and seemingly in the final rounds of a fight for gay ¯- beyond gay men and lesbiahs are joyously, rights which we will win, the trend to publicly ¯ openly~and privately,- noisily and ih quiet acknowledge gay unions with the institutioh ¯ ¯ " .pledge~joining in a-wave ofloving ritual, of marriage is on the upswing. With the self- ¯ .Is, th!,s a new trend? One might suppose yes, absorbed 80’s-decade at our backs, more same-- ¯ citing me number of public c0mmitinents in gender couplesare declaring their relation- ¯ .-recent years but in act;aality same-sex couples stiipsin all manner of ritualistic creativity. ¯ ."1".".Timothy W. :DanIi¯e’l ¯ AttornoyatLaw Tulsa .Family News, January¯1994 : February 1994, page" 6 Estate Planning, Adoptions, Personal Injury Criminal Law, Bankruptcy, Workers Compensation 1’800’742-9468or 918-352-9504 128 East Broadway~ Drumright, Oklahoma Weekend arid evening appointments are available. .:K.n.ow You r Rights! H ¯ E G. .A Y L.’ ¯ F - EM S s TG Y¯ L E a Domestic Partners Benefits-Are You Being Ripped. Off? ’ i s .a T u I s. by Mary Troltnstine - Entre Nous In Ihct there may ~ legal precedence lk~r cxtcndfng domestic " Ifa ~rspective employer said. "1 pay heterosexuals $15 an pawners ~ncfits.~itlc.VlI of the Civi.l Rights Act specifics that Oklahoma’ 05 eat Pagaant hour and lesbians and gays $10 an hour?." would you ~ke the an3 benefits ofl~red by a companY must ~ cqmtablv ofl~red to . job? EveD’ time we accepl a job at a company that does not ofl’er domestic partners benefits we ha~’c taken the job for $10 an hour. Benefits packages represent 25-35’~ of an employee’s. pay. As a gay or lesbian employee working in a company that does not recogni2c our partners, we can’t utilize the medical/dental, plan for our partner. We can’t take sick leave to tend otu" sick partner, lhmily leave when our partner has a child, orbereavemcnt leave if our partner should.die. If our company extends health club privileges or other perks to its employees’and Ihmily, our families arc once again left out. These are all benefits that the company would extend to us, if only we were straight. There are companies that e.~tend benel’its to their gay and lesbian employees. Are they alii’uistic companies, out to. do the morally right thing? Comparues are not moral. They canbe persuaded however, to do th~ morally cot-. ..feet thing if it can be shown to be in the company’s best interest. Why should a company extend costly benefits to non-traditional families? Some of the reasons given.by employ- If a perspective employer said, "1 pay heterosexuals $15 an hour and lesbians and gays ¯$10/hour?" would, you take the job? Every time we accept a job at a company that does not offer, domestic. partners benefits, we have taken the job for $10/hour. all employees. Rcce:nt EEOC rulihgs have used this ~act to force employers to give men the same parenting leave as they give their female emplo\ccs. . There is no [:orrcct way to fight for domestic l~artncrs benefits. But there i ~ enough cxper|cnce to dhtc to be able to draw s0fiae g~neral conchisions. It is important IO understand and work \viththc "corporateculture" that defines your conlpany. How does inlbnnation l]ow in thi: company? How arc decisions made? Who has the power to make and to influence decisions? Ho\\ you present the pr0blcmslsolutions is critical to whether or not you’ll be listened to. A confrontational approach does not Work, but You mm;t stay visible. Erame the issues so’that thc comt~anv sccs thatit is in their best interest to c~angc their policies. Give the Coml~m\’ as much information as you can, includit~g policies and monctarx anah:sis of Othcrcompanics; domcsti’( partners policies. ¯ Partnerships arc important. There is strength in numberS. Form aJcsbian & gay employees assocmtion..loin forces with other employee groups. Unmarried heterosexuals t~kc ad\’antagc of domestic ers who have extended domestic part- partnership benefits far more often (han nership benefits include: lesbian and gay couples. Joining forces with unmarried hctcro- 1. Benefits packages help employers recruit and retain se~xuals can push the Cause foi’ward much faster. qualified workers and a db,’erse workplace. It is hel pft, l to get the supp6rt of Human. R~sourccs. Even. 2. Employees are more productive if they feel management though the HR departmentis of(on the prescncr of the status v.alues them and takes their l:amilies seriot~slv, there are man\’ ~×xt people in HR who honc~th" wzint to d0 the ~. Financial needs of an employee in a non-~raditional family right thing. Enlist the support and help from som[2one in manageare m~ different from financial needs of a married emplove(~, ~cnt~ This pe?son does not -havcto be lesbian i~r gay. Bcnnct nor are their responsibilities to their partner different. " " Marks,.o-chair of the gay employees group at Appl~ ~omputcr 4. Denying benefits violates principles of fairness, summed it up when he said "I would much r’athcr work \vith ’ 5. Redefining "family" to include long-term committed sympathetic straight people than closeted gay people on these relatio_nships reflects th(~changing socia~ reality. " i~sues. " ..... New Hours: Tues.,Thurs. 4:2 Fri. & Sat. 7-2 Sun, 4-2 by Kris Kohl - F~ms and contestants are preparing for the annual Miss Gay, Tulsa Pageant to be held on Sunday, January thirtieth at eight p;m. at the Silver Star Saloon, 1565 S. Sheridan. At twentythree years old, the pageant is the oldest in Oklahoma:" it predates by two ’,’ears the Miss Gay American Pageant of Norma KriTsfie in Little-R~k, Arkan~. The pageantwill be an AIDS benefit, with proceeds going to the MCC AIDS fund. Money collected from advertisers, raffle tickets, and donations at the &x~r of the Silver Star Will all contribute to the fund. I.~t year, this wonderful event was the largest fund:miscr of its kind in our state. The pageant brought in over $ I, 100, which was divided between Shantiand MCC.. Our pageant¯ over the-years has benefited from. the contri- .butions of many shining Stars. Each, in their own way, shone bright as title-holders, and Will all be long-remembered. Two people without whom this pageant would never have achieved its statusand grace arc EmCee Parker and Tim Warren. These two men created the Miss Gay Tulsa Empire. La,,~t year, as a memorial to these two pioneers who have passed on; an award was created by pageant director, Kris Kohl. The Award of Artistry recogni~,es the power and contribution to the art of female impersonation ofthe stage performance of its recipmnt. Last 3’car, the fabulous Jazzmyn Cherri took home this honor, as well as being fimt runner-up. Second runner--up and w~nncr of Male Intcn’iew, was Sensuous Helen Holliday. Who will be crowned this )’ear? Come find out on January ~hirtieth at the Sihcr Star! A limited amount of reserved seating is available for ten dollars per person. A donation of three dollars c(wer will be asked for at the door, and raffle tickets lbr some wonderful prizes can be bought at the d(×)r as well. Remember. all proceeds benefit MCC-AIDS benefit fund! - all your interior needs~ MaleDancers Every Thursday 15th Street, 599-8070 I T H E G A Show.- Company City of Angels TPAC Jan 18--20 . 596-7111 Chapman Theatre, PAC $29 Ed Metzcer as TPAC Trust Albert Einstein 596-7111 Jan 2 !, Williams Theatre. PAC $12 Glass Menagerie Theatre Tulsa Jan 21-30 596-7111 - Studio 1, PAC $12.50 Philfip Bianconi PhilharmoniC Jan 22.Z3 596-7111 Chapman Theatre, PAC $25 Armchair Traveler Celebrity Attrac. January 24 596-7111 Chapn~an Theatre, PAC $6 One M0’ Time American Theatre Co. Feb. 4-12 596:7111 Williams Theatre, PAC Prices vary,. Romeo & Juliet Tulsa Ballet Feb 11"13 596-711"1 Chapman Theatre, PAC Prices vary. Wait Until Dark Community Playhouse of Broken Arrow Feb. 11-20 258-0077 BACP - $10; $8 Charley’s Aunt Theatre Tulsa ¯ Feb 18-27 596-71-11 Williams Theatre, PAC $12.50 The Drunkard . Spotlight Theatre Saturdays, 8:15 p,m,;$8 1381. Riversid~ What Is Meaningful Theater, Anyway? L I F E S T Y L E Gay and Lesbian Committment Ceremoniesby Gerald Miller, M.A. What is "Meaningful Theatre", anyway.’? Today, political "correctness" has translated "meaningful" into abstracted heavy drama aimed at the issue of the moment. Those scnpts don’t hold a monopoly on beingmeaningful or valuable. Sometimes, there,is value in being simply.., entertained. Sometimes,being able to escape the cares and concerns of daily life can be even more meaningful to an audience. At Theatre Tulsa, our mission statement enunciates that we, place equal emphasis on both the quality Of the production and the-- quality_of the "experiehce for the participants". By "participants", we mean the talent pool, the volunteers, and the audience. Our objective is to provide the best quality theatrical entertain- . ment we can, from the resources available in the community.. Our objective With this approach was to provide for the community of actors and the local audience to.participate In the best of live theater. That best may sometimes be dark dramas, and sometimes frothy comedies or musicals. The very best and most meaningful theater will be entertaining in the delivery of its message. Good drama, by definition, h~ to be accessible to the audience~ Iftbe work-is not ,ente~aining, there will be no audience.if there is no audience, how can anyone have an associated meamngtui experience. by Lori Livingston, COUPLES As Carolyn and Nancy, professionals intheir mid-thirties smile and exchange sih er-- and-amethystbands, the’ wedding~of old friends witness. Later, a midnight cel~brati0n supper will include¯ Nancy’s mother and Carolyn’s two children: Star and Brigid choose to simplify’ their commitment ceremony’, reciting vows and making love on a secluded stretch of beach_in Aruba. Michael and Kevin, antiquedealers. who have co-habitated for three years opt for the traditional trappings of matrimony’: have been sharing life and hearth lbr cons, albeit discreetly. Still technically not legal in - the United States (in the Netherlands, however \ same-sex umons are given the Same status as heterosexual counterparts), gay marrmge is gaming slow acceptance. In t989. an est,- mated three hundred gay men and lesbians - clad in attire ranging from formal to ultracasual and hailing from as far away as Japan came together on the streets of our nation’s capital and publicly acclaimed theii" unions in a great Gay Wedding~ Churches and religious tuxedos of dove grey~ exchanging rings and vows in the Universalist Church in Boston, Massachusetts. Trish and Patty wear match-’ lng gowns, organdy and white lace for their Autumn union. No one gives th6 bride away; willingly she takes the arm Of her lover as they stand beneaththe laden - GAY-MARRIAGE? NOTHING¯NEW, JUST OUT OF THECLOSET! institutions such as the Universalist Meeting House and Unitarian sects accepl and encourage gay marriages, offeri ng same-sex couple counseling and performing services. Those gay men and lesbians who choose not to affirm theirjoining religiously can and do create their grape arbor in tlieir Madison, Wisconsin backyard. Jo and ¯Kelly, avid¯bikers, wear leather and. commit "themselves ¯in~ a celebration of joined life, riding Harley Davidson motor~ cycles in Colorado. And in wi ndy Chicago Tim and¯Pat quietly.rezaffirm their sixteenyear relationship ever), 365 days;, sharing a [~ottle of Cognac anda reading ~i" Dicken’s A own personal expressions of¯shared love, as varied and.diverse as the individuals themselves~ Edited by Beck3~ Butler, Ceremonies of the Heart (Seal Press) is a documented account of same-sex commitment ceremonies. Well-researched, it is a moving testimony of gay couples aCknowledging their unions, both tra- ¯ ¯ .. ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯.. ¯ .¯. ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯. Christmas Carol each ChristmasEve. ditionally and avant-garde. ’ i Commitment ceremonies. Matrimony. Es- AS we approach the twenty-first cer~tury, i th atre q:tdsai poused union. Across theUnited Statesand seemingly in the final rounds of a fight for gay ¯, - .: beyond gay men and lesbiahs are joyously, rights which we will win, the trend to publicly. i" " "~I~.,I’L~ openly~and privately, noisily and in quiet acknowledge gay unions ~vith the institution ¯ : i " pledges joining in a.wave of¯loving ritual. ¯ . of marriage.is on the upswing. With the self- " ¯ ~i amtams’., i.. :- " " Is.this a new trend? One might suppose ves, absorbed 80’s decade at our backs, more same- ¯ citing the number of public’commitment~ in gender couples are declaring their relation- " " k " r " " " - * ..recent years but in actZaality same-sex couples . ships in all manner of ritualistic creativity. : ethe ~lass,~Tlenage~ie . c, tt s 7-s ,ozi "¯ ¯¯" lotmore LnformatLon.". ¯ Estate Planning, Adoptions, Personal Injury Criminal Law, Bankruptcy, Workers Compensation 1’800,742-9468or918 -352-9504 128 East BroadwayCDrumright, Oklahoma Weekend and,evening,appointments are-available. Know-. You.r Rights!. Tulsa .Fatnily News, January 1994- February 1994, page 6 ............. 3340 South Peoria 21 To Enter 744-0896 scene On motto

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