[1994] Tulsa Family News, January-February 1994; Volume 1, Issue 2

[1994] Tulsa Family News, January-February 1994; Volume 1, Issue 2

Politics, education, and social conversation toward Tulsa's Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual communities.

Tulsa Family News was a monthly newspaper; No. 1 issued December 1993-January 1994. The final issue available was published in September of 2001 (Vol. 8, Issue 9).

The newspaper brings up important, evolving topics of marriage, military, law, charity, Pride, TORH, HIV/AIDs, events, advice, and politics all at the local and national level.

This document is available to be seen at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center with permission.

Tulsa family News

https://history.okeq.org/collections/show/24

Tom Neal

January-February 1994

James Christjohn
David Brady
Alan G. Nyitray
Gerald Miller
Lori Livingston
Mary Trounstine
Kris Kohl

Tom Neal/Tulsa Family News

Tulsa Family News, December 15-January 14, 1994; Volume 1, Issue 1

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Online text
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English

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periodical

https://history.okeq.org/items/show/462

Tulsa---Oklahoma
Oklahoma---Tulsa
United States Oklahoma Tulsa
United States of America (50 states)

[WORK IN PROGRESS]

TULSA FAMILY NEWS
Serving Tulsa's Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Communities – Our Families of the Heart
January - February 1994, Volume 1, Issue 2

National News

Family Support Essential For Healthy Gay Kids
WASHINGTON – A tolerant, loving and supportive environment built around young gays and lesbians could be the life saving force lhat counteracts the problems that often place them at high risk for HIV infection, said Rayford Kytle, deputy director of the news office at the U.S. Public Health Service, in a recent speech to the agency’s employees.
Kytle, who said he has experienced first-hand the intolerant attitudes towards gays and lesbians, said that a negative attitude toward homosexuality by family and friends creates a confused young adult who, in trying to come to terms with sexuality, often succumbs to isolation and low self-esteem. These traits can lead to self-destructive behaviors - such as alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, and unsafe sex - which place them at risk for all sexually transmitted diseases, and especially for AIDS.
Accepting a young, homosexual and providing a supportive famiy climate, on the other hand, could allow these youngsters to value themselves enough to want to stay healthy and live fulfilling, responsible lives, Kytle said. He added that gay and lesbian youths need community role models who promote healthy and responsible choices.

Condom TV Ads Begin Airing But Not for Gays
WASHINGTON – Thirteen years into the AIDS epidemic and with more than 200,000 Americans dead, the federal government has finally broken years of silence with the debut Tuesday, Jan. 4, of major network television and radio spots promoting condom use to prevent HIV infection. But amazingly what the explicit federal ad campaign fails to address because of pressures from conservative members of Congress is the largest group at risk for HIV infection - gay and bisexual men.
The rather steamy ads began running on ABC-TV nationally on Jan. 4 and local stations will be getting the PSAs on Feb. 1 when they will be distributed to an estimated 2,800 TV stations and 4,700 radio stations around the country. And while AIDS activists had guarded praise for the administration's decision to launch the blunt ads promoting condom use, many were disappointed in the failure of any of the PSAs to target gay and bisexual men, the largest at-risk population in the U.S.
Washington D.C. AIDS educator Jim Graham said, "We would like to have seen it done differently," he said. "We'd like to have seen ads tailored for gay and bisexual males, definitely. But with that said, I think that this is a major step forward in the prevention effort in the United States." The PSAs, created by the ad agency Ogilvy & Mather, include nine TV spots and four radio ads featuring celebrity voice-overs by Jason Alexander of "Seinfled" and Martin Lawrence of "Martin". Some of the ads promote abstinence, and Spanish-language radio and TV stations will get dubbed versions of the PSAs.

Human Rights Campaign Fund Organizer Named
WASHINGTON – The Human Rights Capaign Fund has named Cathy Woolard as coordinator of its new Federal Advocacy Network (FAN), a program aimed at mobilizing a grassroots activist network working on lesbian and gay rights. Woolard coordinated HRCF's regional office in Atlanta until becoming a lobbyist at the group's Washington, D.C., office. "We recognize that the work of national organizations can never be accomplished without the active participation of our community at the local and state level," Woolard said. "We need local activists with the skills and training to effectively lobby Congressand [sic.] mobilize support on the local level. That is what the Federal Advocacy Network will do."

New "National" Gay Group
WASHINGTON – Gay & Lesbian Americans has announced plans to hold a summit and organizing meeting in Washington D.C. at the Georgetown University Law Center on Jan. 15-16. Part of the organizing meeting will be broadcast over C-SPAN. The group will be forming a national network of grassroots organizations with state and local chapters around the country. "The purpose of the summit is to bring together gay and lesbian grassroots leaders who are interested in forming a national group with state and local chapters," said Steven Reichert.

[text in cartoon:]
HONOR SERVED
A GAY SERVICEMAN ***WINS*** IN APPEALS COURT
JOSEPH STEFFAN

Cartoon by David Brady

UPDATE: Gays in the Military Pentagon Unveils New Regulations
WASHINGTON – The Defense Department outlined new procedureson [sic.] Wednesday, Dec. 22, to implement its new policy concerning gays and lesbians in the U.S. armed forces that gay rights leaders called only "marginally less intolerable" than the previous policy. The complex regulations will take effect Feb. 5, 1994, and are intended to set down guidelines for military commanders about what is and is not the basis for investigating a service member's sexual orientation.
Defense Secretary Les Aspin said that the policy has already passed a crucial test by meeting the approval of both the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Congress, despite continuing opposition from rights activists and setbacks inthe [sic.] courts. Gay rights advocates, however, said they would challenge the new policy in court as unconstitutional. "The new regulations are simply a repackaging of thesame [sic.] prejudice and discrimination that existed under the pre-Clinton policy," said Tanya Domi, a former Army captain, now with the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force.

Tulsa Lesbian Bar Bombed
by Tom Neal
January 10 – Time-N-Time Again, a local bar serving primarily the Tulsa Lesbian community, suffered light damage from a home-made pipe bomb that was thrown through its door. There were patrons in the bar as well as staff but no one was hurt. Damages were limited to burns on the flooring, broken glass from the windows blon [sic.] out and signs shaken off the wall.
Police have taken descriptions of the person seen throwing the bomb. Jane Roth, owner of Time N’ Time Again, said that the description given of the bomber resembled that of an individual banned from thc bar previously. She characterized the bombing as possibly motivated by a "grudge" rather than by anti-Lesbian bias.

TJC Officials Express  Gay-Positive Attitudes

Opinion: Bigotry at City Hall
Back in July, Robert Nelson, Tulsa City Councilman, told the Tulsa World of his opposition to proposed human rights protections for Lesbians and Gay men. Although he is not a lawyer, Nelson proclaimed that current laws already protect Lesbians and Gay men from discrimination based on their sexual orientation.
In October, speaking with Mr. Nelson; I sought to learn if he genuinely believed that current laws provided civil rights protections for Lesbians and Gay men. I met with Mr. Nelson and his aide, Rebecca, in his City Hall office. When questioned about his earlier statements, he repeated them: "[there are] enough laws to cover any conditions....[he would] like us to be color-blind, politics-blind, gender-blind...." This statement is admirable but not accurate about current law.
By chance, in the middle of this conversation, City Attorney David Pauling stuck his head in Mr. Nelson’s office. We asked Mr. Pauling if there were any laws, federal, state or local which would protect citizens on the basis of their sexual orientation? Mr. Pauling stated, "...no ordinance explicitly addresses that point [providing protection based on sexual orientation] and no redress is available..."
I also shared with Mr. Nelson mv research on the issue. If you ask them, the City of Tulsa Human Rights Commission will tell you that there are no protections under any current laws from discrimination based on sexual orientation. Likewise, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for Oklahoma which enforces applicable federal law said there are no protections under any current laws from discrimination based on sexual orientation. This information which I confirmed with a few phone calls was easily available to Mr. Nelson.
He could have had a staff person call. He hadn’t asked EEOC. He hadn’t asked the Human Rights Commission. He hadn't even asked the City Attorney right there in City Hall. And even after heating my information and that of the City Attorney, he still claimed that current laws prevent sexual orientation discrimination.
Mr. Nelson’s ability to hold on to this view in spite of considerable evidence to the otherwise was only the beginning. He proceeded to say that "...what we've done in the past [laws providing civil rights protections] have hurt us....civil rights [laws] orders you to discriminate on the basis of race, creed, etc...." In some disbelief, I asked him if this meant he was opposed to the civil rights acts of the 1960’s which ended, at least officially, segregated public facilities. As I understood him, he stood by his opposition to civil rights protections, not only as proposed for Lesbians and Gay men but also those already in place to address discrimination based on race, gender, religion and so forth.
Perhaps in this context, that of a man who seems to have no understanding of the fact that Jim Crow laws did not just disappear on their own, Mr. Nelson’s declaration that the law protects Lesbians and Gay men, when it does not, is at least consistent if not logical. Robert Nelson also added that he didn’t think that there was that much discrimination against Lesbians and Gay men. He was not familiar with a 1978 study done by the City documenting discrimination in housing and employment.
However, if he’s willing to ignore what the City Attorney says to his face, then it seems likely that he would ignore any other research too. Nelson’s attitude seems to be one of: don’t bother me with the facts when I’ve already made up my mind. Mr Nelson says that Lesbians and Gay men have every right that everyone else does; and that we should not be discriminated against based on our sexual orientation, BUT that he would do everything he could to make certain such a human rights ordinance is not passed.
This politician says there should be no discrimination but opposes any effort to actually to end civil rights abuses. Perhaps what we've got here is a kind of bigotry that dares not speak its name.
The lesson in this for us, Lesbians and Gay men, our families and our friends, is that we can no longer remain complacent about local politics. Nelson is perhaps less smart about his bigotry and is therefore, more vocal but we have few friends on the Tulsa City Council. And that is something we can change. The City Council primary elections are February 1, and the election is March 1. There are folks running for some of those seats who are very good On Lesbian and Gay issues. There are some who are very bad. And there are some who might be educated.
This is where we can make a difference. Oklahoma City has come close in recent months to passing a human rights ordinance. Tulsa could pass one too if We just get fair-minded folks elected. Those candidates, new and incumbent need to hear from us. They need our volunteer hours and if we can, they need our contribution. We can make a difference in the quality of life for ourselves and for the Lesbian and Gay kids growing up now.

Tom Neal, publisher

Metropolitan Community Church of Greater Tulsa
Services
Sunday 10:45 am
Wednesday 6:30 pm
In Home Cell Groups 2nd & 4th Sundays 6:00 pm
1623 N. Maplewood Tulsa, OK 74115
Phone: (918) 838-1715

Puppy Pause II
11th & Mingo
838-7626
Open Tuesday – Saturday at 8am.
Call for Appointments, Walk-ins Also Welcome.

Tulsa Directory
* Asterisks indicate distribution points.
Bars & Restaurants
*The Alley, 3340 S. Peoria 744-0896
*Cherry St. Bakery, 1344 E. 15 583-8398
*Deep Elm, 61st & Mem. 250-0933
*Electric Circus, 606 S. Egin 587-8677
*Laff’s, 31L E. 7th 583-5233
*Paradise Bar & Grill, 12570 E. 21 234-9007
*SilverStar Saloon, 1565 Sheridan 834-4234
*Renegade, 1649 S. Main 585-3405
*TNT’s, 2114 S. Memorial 660-0856
*Time n’Time Again, 1515 S. Mem. 664-8299
*Tool Box, 1338 E. 3rd 584-1308
*Whittier Cafe, 416 S. Lewis, 582-2400
Businesses/Services
Budget Window Treatments and more! 7116 So. Mingo, Suite 102 254-2100
*Indian Terr. Coffee Company 1613 E. 15 587-1633
Galerie Europa, 203 N. Main 592-2787
Harry & Mrs. Jones, 1617 E. 15 582-1617
Jared’s, 1602 E. 15 582-3018
Ken's Flowers, 1635 E. 15 599-8070
*Living Arts of Tulsa, 224 N. Main 585-1234
*Mohawk Music, 6157 E 51 Pl 664-2951
Novel Idea Discount Books
7104 S. Sheridan 492-0335
3356 E. 51 747-6711
*Phun Stuph, 1519 E. 15 584-7486
Puppy Pause II, 11th & Mingo 838-7626
*Tomfoolery, 1565 S. Sheridan 832-0233
Organizations
ACT-UP, POB 532 74101
Names Proj. POB 3181 74101 748-3111
P-FLAG POB 52800 74152 749-4901
HIV Resource Consortium
*TOHR, 4154 S. Harvard, Ste. H-1
Gay Line lnfo. 743-4297
Shanti Hotline 749-7898
B/L/G Alliance, Tulsa U. 583-9780
Oklahoma AIDS Hotline 800-535-2437
Other
*Chapman Student Ctr. TU, 631-0000
*University Centter at Tulsa
Professionals
Theodore Campbell, MSW 1560 E 21 743-1000
Sandra J. Hill, MS, Psychotherapy 2865 E. Skelly, Ste. 215 745-1111
Tim Daniel, Atty. 352-9504, 800-742-9468
Bill Hinkle, Atty. 749-1586
Kelly Kirby, CPA, 9933 E 16 663-9399
John Kirk, Realtor 747-5800, 745-2245
Tom Neal, Designer 832-0233
Buildings/Gardens/Graphics
Religious Organizations
*Family of Faith MCC, 500 W. A Jenks 298-4622
Affirmation (Methodist) 742-8213
*MCC-Tulsa, 1623Maplewood 838-1715
Dignity/Integrity 298-4648
*Canterbury Ministry Ctr. TU, 583-9780

TULSA FAMILY NEWS
Publisher/Editor
Tom Neal

Assistant Editor
James Christjohn

918-832-0233
POB 4140
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74159

Issued on the 15th of each month, the emire contents of this publication are protected by US copyright 1994 by Tulsa Family News and may not be reproduced either in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Publication of a name or photo in no way indicates or reflects that person’s sexual orientation.
Correspondance is assumed to be for publication unless otherwise noted and becomes the sole property of Tulsa Family News. All correspondance should be sent to the address above.
Tulsa Family News is a event [sic.] & entertainment newspaper dimributed free of charge in local businesses and organizations.

CORRECTION/RETRACTION
Due to false information provided to GayNet, a news item was carried indicating that one of the "American Gladiators" had acknowledged heis [sic.] gay on one of the television programs aired nationally. The news report was erroneous and we sincerely regret any missnformation or inconvenience thereport [sic.] may have caused.

Tomfoolery!
January Sale
Tulsa’s Only Openly Gay-owned Gift Store
Pride Jewelry, Buttons, Stickers, Cards, Newsmagazines, T-shirts & More for Us, Our Families & Our Friends
Valentine's Day
Find Those Cool Gifts For Your Honey!
1565 South Sheridan, Tulsa
832-0233, Visa/MC accepted.
New Hours: Wed.-Thurs. 9-12, Fri.-Sat. 9-2am [sic.], Sun. 8-11 pm
Coming Soon: Tomfoolery! at the Alley

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 2

DO I REALLY WANT TO SURVIVE THIS EPIDEMIC?
by Alan G. Nyitray, M.S.
For many, the question in the headline above may seem absurd. The will to live is a motivation that we generally take for granted. Alarmingly, though, reports from the west coast indicate that some people are responding to the above question with ambivalence.
Workshops at the 1993 National Lesbian and gay [sic.] Health Conference in Houston and the National AIDS Update in San Francisco are shedding light on a disturbing development in AIDS epicenters. So far, most of the anecdotal information is coming fromSan Francisco. However, even here, away from the AIDS epicenters, many of us who work ih HIV prevention are starting to see how this deepening epidemic is taking its toll on the mental health of the gay community.
Health educators have long known that health behavior change is an extremely complex process. Human beings who have full knowledge of the negative consequences of certain behaviors nevertheless choose to participate in those behaviors. There is ample evidence all around us, in our friends who are overweight, who smoke, who drive without seatbelts, who abuse alcohol and other drugs, etc. The majority of the individuals who participate in these unhealthful behaviors know that their actions can have negative consequences.
Lack of knowledge is not an issue. Internal cultural factors and external societal factors drive people to do things that are harmful. The deepening AIDS epidemic itself is prompting some HIV negative men to question the quality of life they can have if most or all of their friends and family are to die of HIV. In San Francisco, approximately 50% of gay and bisexual men are infected with HIV. In some specific age groups, that percentage is much higher. For instance, in gay and bisexual men in their upper thirties in San Francisco, approximately 80% are infected with HIV.
Some gay men are unconsciously asking themselves "How much is life worth when I only have funeral after funeral after funeral to look forward to?" In such an environment, some gay men may feel that becoming HIV infected is not such a terrible scenario. Consider the words of a newly HIV-infected client of Berkeley psychologist Walt Odets:
"Becomnig newly HIV postive is a less stressful place to be. I'll probably stay healthy for another decade. I don't have to worry about seroconverting; I don't have to worry about burying my friends for the next 50 Years; and I don't have to worry about being the ’last gay man’."
This newly infected man may have had a specific intention to becomce HIV infected, or he may simply have grown weary of living through a horrible epidemic that only promises to get worse. Will this phenomenon grow as thc epidemic progresses and more people become ill? The impact on gay men’s will remain uninfected may be profound.
Counselors in AIDS epicenters who are reporting this phenomenon stress that these feelings are almost always subconscious. Admitting ambivalence about one’s own survival is taboo. Many counselors are familiar with gay men still engaging in unsafe sex, who say they are surprised, baffled, or confused about their own unsafe behavior. These men often pummel themselves and call themselves ignorant for having unsafe sex. Meanwhile, underlying motivations for their risky behavior may not be explored.
A group of San Francisco counseling professionals have begun to call for greater attention to be paid to the mental health needs of gay and bisexnal men living through this continuing AIDS epidemic. Stories from clients and friends who had recently bccomc HIV infected provoked them to speak about a "psychological epidemic" happening in AIDS epicenters.
Two of the most visible lecturers on this "phsychological epidemic" are Berkeley pshycologist [sic.] Walt Odets and San Francisco therapist Tom Moon, MFCC. Odets says that gay men in AIDS epicenter [sic.] are increasingly having to grapple with a fundamental truth of human existence: biological survival is not enough. Many people with AIDS, whose health may be deteriorating, have to deal with the issue of quality vs. quantity. Now, people without AIDS – whose lives have been changed by AIDS, nevertheless – are addressing the same concern.

Gay-Owned and Operated
PARADISE Bar & Grill
21st &" 129 East Avenue (Next to Homeland) Phone 234-9007
$3 Beer Bust, Everyday 4-7, $1.50 Pitchers, 9 to midnight.
Sunday - Free Buffet at 4:00
Monday - Pool League at 8:00
Wednesday - "Bamboo Night" Starring Gene Kernigan
Thursday - Ladies Night with $1.25 Longnecks for the Ladies
Saturday - Pool Tournament at 8:00
Open Daily 11am-2am, Food served during all open hours. Major credit cards accepted.

Town Hall Meeting
Mayor Susan Savage
7pm, Monday, February 21 (tentative)
Silver Star Saloon
1565 S. Sheridan
Call 832-0233 to confirm.
Sponsored by Simply Equal & Tulsa Family News

Parklane Building
Secure Midtown/Riverside-Area
One Bedroom Apartment
No pets, kids or waterbeds, please. Good credit/references required.
$315, bills paid, $150 deposit.
587-4640

WANTED: Part-time HIV Testing Counselor;
Gay, Lesbian & Bi-sexual Friendly;
People of Color are especially encouraged to apply.
Applications accepted until 4pm Jan. 21st. Please call Roger Morris 749-4194

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 3

News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News

Country Goes for AIDS Prevention
NASHVILLE – Beginning on Jan. 13, some 35 country music stars will be seen in no-nonsense public service announcements on radio, TV and print media to promote awareness of the AIDS epidemic. Stars featured in the "Break the Silence" ads include Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Johnny Cash, Tammy Wynette, Wynonna Judd, Dolly Parton and WillieNelson [sic.]. Singer Mark Chestnutt started the Country Music AIDS Awareness Campaign. Some of the messages in the campaign include: "Sleeping with your partner is sleeping with their past" and "Use a latex condom every time you have sex."

Michael Callen Dies of AIDS
LOS ANGELES – Michael Callen, the composer, singer and writer whose 12-year struggle with AIDS made him one of the most visible people with AIDS in the U.S., died at his Los Angeles home Monday, Dec. 27. Callen, who recorded "Purple Heart" and "The Flirtations" with the a cappella group of the same name, was also one of the founding organizers of groups suchas [sic.] the People with AIDS Coalition and the National Association of People with AIDS. He was 38.

Gender-Bender Barbies & G.I. Joes
NEW YORK – He’s big, bad, burley and butch. And the talking G.I. Joe Battle Commander is supposed to roar off things like "Attack!" and "Vengeance is mine." But instead, because of the work of a group of New York artists, several hundred of the G.I. Joes this Christmas are saying things like "Will we ever have enough clothes?" and "I love to shop with you." The group, which calls itself the "Barbie Liberation Organization" (or B.L.O.) earlier this year bought some 300 G.I. Joe and Barbie dolls and swapped the computer chips that give the popular dolls their collection of set phrases. The switched dolls were then carefully repackaged along with a flyer urging the purchasers to contact their local media "about this funny doll they got" and stealthily put back on toy store shelves in more than 40 states, Canada and England. When Christmas rolled around, of course, the effort, which the B.L.O. admits is an "unabashed publicity stunt," became public as kids found their G.I. Joes exclaiming in the voice of teenage girl [sic.], "Let’s go to the beach," and their Barbies snarling out in a deep baritone, "Eat lead, Cobra!" The B.L.O. says the voice-change operation was a head-on attack on "gender-based stereotyping in children’s toys. No one has taken up Mattel’s offer to exchange any of the butch Barbies,and [sic.] several major toy stores have reported a number of inquiries about the new gender-bender dolls.

Pulling of Gay Books Prompts Student ’Check-Out’ Protest
KANSAS CITY, Mo. – After a,school district in suburban KansasCity [sic.], Mo., Ordered the removal of two gay- and lesbian-themed young adult novels donated by the gay rights group, Project 21, students at one of the district schools began a massive "check-out" of some 2,900 library books to protest what they see as censorship of what they read. A Shawnee Mission School District committee voted Thursday Dec. 16, to return the novels All-American Boys and Annie On My Mind to Project 21after [sic.] a group of eight parents in the district complained that the books "promote homosexuality." The 11-member committee decided that the school district should return the books because "they were presented by a special interest group advocating its own agenda," and recommended that in the future the district not accept donated books at all. Shawnee Mission is the fifth area school district to be confronted with controversy about the books during the past year as anti-gay actlvists have escalated attacks on gay-positive materials in the public educational system. One of the students involved in the protest told reporters that the withdrawal of books by students would continue as long as the district tried to restrict what they could or could not read.

2nd Annual Benefit for Tulsa PFLAG
The Oklahoma City Metro Men's Chorus
Will Perform
Saturday, February 12, 1994, 8 pm
Hope Unitarian Church, 84th & Sheridan
$10 donation requested for Concert & Reception
Part of the proceeds of the benefit will go to the HIV Resource Center in appreciation of meeting space provided to PFLAG.
Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays

HIV TESTING CLINIC
EVERY THURSDAY EVENING, 7-8:30 PM
sponsored by
TOHR
FREE
ANYONYMOUS
Finger Stick Method
Daytime Testing, Tuesday and Thursday, by Appointment - Call 749-4194
By & for but not exclusive to the Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual Communities

Female Condoms for Gay Men
LONDON – They’re still not yet commercially available in the U.S., but in Britain the female condom has become increasingly popular with gay men. When the condoms went on sale in England in 1992 under the brand name "Femidom," the National AIDS Manual promptly included guidelines on their use by gay men. AIDS educators say the female condom with an extra-heavy domed cap allows for more vigorous sex, reducing concerns about leaks and breakage, and because it’smade [sic.] of polyurethane rather than latex it can also be used with nonwater-based lubricants. The female condom also has a psychological advantage, educators say, because it can be iinserted in advance. The manufacturer, Wisconsin Pharmical Company; has tried to get final Food and Drug Administration approval for 6 years. The firm hopes for FDA approval early in 1994.

Gays 'Family Members' in NY
ALBANY, N.Y. – New York state’s housing agency may consider gay and lesbian couples as "family members" the state high court has ruled. The decision will permit surving partners to linherit rent-controlled housing in the state.

Anti-Gay Campaign in Arizona
PHOENIX, Ariz. – A statewide petition campaign to prohibitlegislation [sic.] outlawing anti-gay bias has been launched in Arizona. Supporters of the anti-gay initiative proposal, based on Colorado's Amendment 2, will have to gather more than 150,000 signatures by July 7 to qualify the initiative for theballot [sic.] next year.

Idaho Legislators Aren't Anti-Gay
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho – According to an Idaho Falls Post Register survey, only 9 of the Idaho's [sic.] 105 legislators support an initiative sponsored by the Idaho Citizens Alliance to prohibit civil rights protections covering sexual orientation. Voters in the state will vote on themeasure [sic.] in November 1994.

Residents Trying to Block MCC
MATTHEWS, N.C. – Two dozen families in the Charlotte, N.C., community of Matthews have gone to court in an effort to prevent the New Life Metropolitan Community Church from opening its newly purchased church in their community because many of its parishionhers are gays and lesbians. But Rev. Robert Darst of New Life MCC, with the support of the Charlotte Area Clergy Assn., is fighting back. "If they want to buy it [the church  property] from us,we’ll [sic.] sell it to them - at a profit, of course. We’ll make money off their homophobia," he said.

Mass. Student Bias Law Signed
BOSTON – Mass. Gov. William Weld signed a law barring bias against students in public schools in the state because of their sexual orientation. It is the first such state law in the U.S. and was approved by the legislature after 2 previous attempts at passage had failed.

FBI Investigating Colorado Mail
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – The FBI is investigating reports of hate mail being sent to readers who wrote letters to the editor of a new weekly The Colorado Springs Independent as a possible violation of First Amendment rights by someone upset with the paper’s anti-Amendment 2 editorial positions. Most of the anonymous letters handed over to the FBI so far are signed simply "The Concerned Americans" and are rife with Christian references, veiled threats and sexual obscenities. One 63-year-old woman, for example, wrote a letter to the editor that was published in The Independent merely suggesting the paper use a larger typeface so she and other older readers with vision problems could read it more easily. She received a letter from "Concerned Americans" calling her a "weak-minded sheep" and indicated in explicitly sexual language that she should be sodomlzed. The letter also warned, "Do not attempt to write more letters." John Weiss, editor of The Idependent has handed all the anonymous letters to the FBI which is investigating to determine if the author or authors of the threatening letters have violated federal civil rights laws, particularly in the area of suppressing First Amendment guarantees of free speech. The weekly newspaper has also offered a $1,000 reward for information leading to the conviction of the anonymous letter writers.

Couples Equality in Baltimore
BALTIMORE – Baltimore’s Board of Estimates has ruled that same-sex couples will get the same health and family benefits as married couples do under the city's domestic partners program. The city workers' partners plan doesn't go into effect until 1995, however.

Children's Wish: A Cure for AIDS
NEW YORK – Responses from the North Pole Poll, a nationwide survey of children conducted by Nintendo of America Inc., indicate that American kids have their own societal concerns, chief among them the AiDS epidemic. The survey of more than 3,000 children, ages 7 to 13, found that more than 26% of them, given a holiday wish that could come true, would ask for a cure for AIDS. That response was the most popular of the 11 choices given, ranking higher than elimination of drugs, crime, homelessness, war, racism or gangs.

Canada More Positive About Gays
TORONTO – Maclean’s, Canada’s largest circulation news magazine, has just published its annual national poll of what Canadians think about a variety of issues, including homosexuals, Overall, 56 percent of those responding agreed with the statement, "It would be fine if one of my children turned out to be gay." In Quebec province, where more than a third of all Canadians live, an astounding 85 percent of the respondents agreed with the statement. When presented with the statement, "It would bother me if openly gay and lesbian people were teaching in schools," 51 percent of the respondents disagreed or strongly disagreed, with only 13 percent agreeing that openly gay teachers would bother them. Contrasted with American attitudes about homosexuals, a 1993 U.S. News & World Report poll found 52 percent of those surveyed oppose teaching students anything about homosexuality in the public schools.

More Opposition to 'Sister Spirit'
ELLISVILLE, Miss. – At a packed meeting Monday, Jan. 3, in rural Jones County, Mississippi, residents created the Ovett Community Defense Fund in an effort io prevent lesbians Wanda and Brenda Henson from converting a 120-acre former farm into a feminist retreat. Locals set up the legal fund to help finance lawsuits against Camp Sister Spirit on the grounds that it would create a local nuisance and lower the area's property values. Sister Spirit earlier recieved the support of Ben Chaney, whose brother James was one of 3 civil-rights workers murdered in Philadelphia, Miss., in:1964, who said the women's retreat had every, right to exist and operate its literacy center, food bank, clothes closet, crisis phone line and displaced homemakers’ program. Chaney has even led a caravan of several cars full of people who acted as late-night guards at the Sister Spirit property. The women have been the continuing object of threats and the property vandalized since local ministers stirred up opposition to what they termed a "lesbian compound."

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 4

News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News Briefs News

Sir lan Enters the ’Ring’
HOLLYWOOD – Sir Ian McKellen, the openly gay noted British actor, is set t0 co-star as a political adviser in the long-buried Orson Welles movie project, "The Big Brass Ring," based on a fictional story about a U.S. presidential candidate who must hide his homosexuality to run for office. No date has been set for the delayed film to go into production.

Cleric Wants Condom Ads Pulled
INDIANAPOLIS – Indiana Roman Catholic Archbishop Daniel Bucchlein called on local TV and radio broadcasters not to air the federal government’s newly released public service announcements promoting condom use as part of a new AIDS-prevention effort. Bucchlein said condoms encourage young people to engage in casual sex, but most of state's stations [sic.] said they would run the government PSAs anyway.

A Very Natural Thing
ROTTERDAM, The Netherlands – The Staats-Zeitung newspaper reports that 2 male flamingos at the Rotterdam Zoo have bonded so closely that they repeatedly tried to steal eggs from nesting females to raise their own baby. Moved by the persistence of the gay birds, zookeepers finally gave them their own fertilized egg which the two hatched and began rinsing as their own.

Virtual Safe Sex
SAN FRANCISCO – The high-tech computer world inched forward (maybe even 8 inches forward) with the premiere of "Dream Lovers," the first gay sex CD-ROM at the MacWorld Expo. For the computer illiterati who don’t know a CD-ROM from Baba Ram Dass, suffice it to say that ROM (or "Read-Only Memory") is to your average desktop computer what videotape is to 8mm film - a high-tech zoom that reproduces and generates amazingly sharper, more detailed images. With interactive capabilities, CD-ROM allows the user to manipulate the images in a variety of ways not possible in any conventional medium - which means you can do a lot more With "’Dream Lovers" star Joe Romero than you ever thought possible. Romero, who attended the opening of the 10th annual MacWorld Expo where "Dream Lovers" was ... ahem ... being exhibited, said he was surprised by the "number of women who are just going crazy over it." (Well, if you’ve ever seen the swarthy Romero’s "it," you wouldn’t be all that surprised.) But witihout batting an eyelash, Romero points out with perhaps justifiable pride of ownership, that the program’s windows displaying the sex-acts menu "is the largest window size. The heterosexual versions [of porn CD-ROMs] have small windows." And because inquiring minds want to know, we can assure readers that Romero's claims of gigasize are not mere hubris or some optical illusion. It’s tough work, but someone’s got to do it.

What Sign Are You?
DETROIT – Just thought you'd like to know that, according to Patricia Fedclum of the Deaf Hearing & Speech Center in Detroit, deaf Americans have generally stopped using a limp wrist to sign the word indicating a homosexual. As a sign of the times, the newest sign is simply the letter Q for (guess what?) the word "queer."

Settlement in FBI Bias Suit
SAN FRANCISCO – The FBI has agreed not to discriminate against gay and lesbian employees based on sexual orientation or conduct as part of a settlement of a class-action lawsuit filed by former San Diego FBI agent Frank Buttino, a 20-year-veteran of the crime agency fired when the bureau learned he is gay. Under the terms of the settlement, the FBI does not admit any wrongdoing but agrees to formally adopt guidelines prohibiting discrimination against applicants and employees on the grounds of sexual orientation. The agency retains, however, the option to investigate how an applicant’s sexual conduct might affect their character or judgment. The FBI will pay Buttino an undisclosed amount of money, including court costs, and he will be allowed to receive his pension. But Buttino will not get his job with the FBI back. As part of the agreement, the FBI will accept its first openly lesbian applicant Dana Tillson, a 32-year-old private investigator the bureau had earlier rejected after learning she is a lesbian.

National HIV Magazine Launched
CHICAGO – The Advocate reports that the premiere issue of Plus: The Magazine About Living and HIV will be launched this month. Themagazine [sic.] will focus on lifestyle issues and daily concerns, the difficulties faced by people infected with the virus but not usually addressed in medicalpublications [sic.], including career decisions, dating, family relationships andunconventional [sic.] approaches to staying healthy.

Pneumonia Treatment Causing Shifts in Opportunistic Diseases
BOSTON – The New England Journal of Medicine reports thatthe [sic.] early and widespread " treatment of AIDS-related pneumonia in the U.S. ischanging [sic.] the pattern of illnesses related to HIV. Because drugs treating pneumocystis carini pneumonia extend life expectancyof [sic.] people with AIDS without stopping the decline of the immune system, 4 types of AIDS-related illnesses occur more frequently: mycobacterium avium complexdisease [sic.], esophageal candidiasis, wasting syndrome, and cytomegalovirus disease. The four, once relatively uncommon, are now fairly often found among patients.
(c) 1994 by GayNet News Service.

TULSA NOTES

Computer Matching Service
Linking with one or more like-minded partners is now as simple as making a few keystrokes, thanks to The Matchmaker, a world-wide matching service for the gay and lesbian community. In allowing Graphical Interface Format images of the users to be exchanged, this service is the first of its kind.
Users of the Matchmaker can find new friends, potential mates, or just someone to chat with about similar interests. Travelers looking for compatible people in distant cities find the service very helpful for locating new friends in destination cities.
As with most matchmaking services, a questionnaire is filled out by the user, describing him or herself, as well as indicating preferences for traits desired in a partner. The computer selects a match from files, based on gender, location, age, and percentage of matched interests, similarities, and desired qualities.
For more information about The Matchmaker, contact:
Arnie Holder, Looking Glass Services, Voice: 918.838.1222, BBS: 918.838.7575 or 7755
P.O. Box 33076, Tulsa, OK 74153

PFLAG Support Groups
Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Tulsa Chapter in a partnership with the HIV Resource Center and the Visiting Nurse Association is offering a support group for parents, friends and family of those persons living with HIV/AIDS. The group is meeting the first and third Wednesdays of each month at 6:30 pm.
PFLAG is also sponsoring a RAP group for family, friends, Gays and Lesbians who want to talk about their experiences on the journey to understanding and acceptance. This group will meet on the fourth Sunday of each month.
Both of these groups will meet at the HlV Resource Center, 4154 South Harvard, Suite H, Conference Room. For more information, please call the PFLAG Hotline, 749-4901.

New Community Building Organizatlon
New consciousness raising organization being formed. Goal: building a stronger, healthier Tulsa Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual community. Needs: Like-minded persons. Organizational meeting: February 29, 2pm. Call for directions, 832-1816.

Sandra J. Hill, M.S.
Psychotherapy & Clinical Consultation
Sensitive to the Challenges of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgendered lndividuals, Couples & Families.
2865 E. Skelly Drive, Ste. 215
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74105 745-1111

THE GAY LIFESTYLE

THEATRE SCHEDULE
Show Company

City of Angels TPAC
Jan 18-20 596-7111
Chapman Theatre, PAC $29

Ed Metzcer as Albert Einstein TPAC Trust
Jan 21. 596-7111
Williams Theatre, PAC $12

Glass Menagerie Theatre Tulsa
Jan 21-30 596-7111
Studio 1, PAC $12.50

Phillip Bianconi Philharmonic
Jan 22-23 596-7111
Chapman Theatre, PAC $25

Armchair Traveler Celebrity Attrac.
January 24 596-7111
Chapman Theatre, PAC $6

One Mo' Time American Theatre Co.
Feb. 4-12 596-7111
Williams Theatre, PAC Prices vary.

Romeo & Juliet Tulsa Ballet
Feb 11-13 596-7111
Chapman Theatre, PAC Prices vary.

Wait Until Dark Community Playhouse of Broken Arrow
Feb. 11-20 258-0077
BACP $10; $8

Charley’s Aunt Theatre Tulsa
Feb 18-27 596-7111
Williams Theatre, PAC $12.50

The Drunkard Saturdays, 8:15 p.m.,S8

TOM NEAL
DESIGNER
Buildings, Gardens & Graphics
832.0233

What Is Meaningful Theater, Anyway?
by Gerald Miller, M.A.
What is "Meaningful Theatre", anyway? Today, political "correctness" has translated "meaningful" into abstracted heavy drama aimed at the issue of the moment. Those scripts don’t hold a monopoly on being meaningful or valuable. Sometimes, there is value in being simply... entertained. Sometimes, being able to escape the cares and concerns of daily life can be even more meaningful to an audience.
At Theatre Tulsa, our mission statement enunciates that we place equal emphasis on both the quality Of the production and the quality of the "experierice for the participants". By "participants", we mean the talent pool, the volunteers, and the audience. Our objective is to provide the best quality theatrical entertainment we can, from the resources available in the community. Our objective with this approach was to provide for the community of actors and the local audience to participate in the best of live theater.
That best may sometimes be dark dramas, and sometimes frothy comedies or musicals. The very best and most meaningful theater will be entertaining in the delivery of its message. Good drama, by definition, has to be accessible to the audience. If the work is not entertaining, there will be no audience. If there is no audience, how can anyone have an associated "meaningful" experience?

Gay and Lesbian Committment Ceremonies
by Lori Livingston, COUPLES
As Carolyn and Nancy, professionals in their mid-thirties smile and exchange silver-and-amethyst bands, the wedding party of old friends witness. Later, a midnight celebration supper will include Nancy’s mother and Carolyn’s two children. Star and Brigid choose to simplify their commitment ceremony, reciting vows and making love on a secluded stretch of beach in Aruba. Michael and Kevin, antique dealers who have co-habitated for three years opt for the traditional trappings of matrimony: tuxedos of dove grey, exchanging rings and vows in the Universalist Church in Boston, Massachusetts. Trish and Patty wear matching gowns, organdy and white lace for their Autumn union. No one gives the bride away; willingly she takes the arm of her lover as they stand beneath the laden grape arbor in their Madison, Wisconsin backyard. Jo and Kelly, avid bikers, wear leather and commit themselves in a celebration of joined life, riding Harley Davidson motorcycles in Colorado. And in windy Chicago Tim and Pat quietly re-affirm their sixteen-year relationship every 365 days; sharing a bottle of cognac and a reading of Dicken’s A Christmas Carol each Christmas Eve.
Commitment ceremonies. Matrimony. Espoused union. Across the United States and beyond gay men and lesbians are joyously, openly and privately, noisily and in quiet pledges joining in a wave of loving ritual.
Is, this a new trend? One might suppose yes, citing the number of public commitiments in recent years but in actuality same-sex couples have been sharing life and hearth for eons, albeit discreetly. Still technically not legal in the United States (in the Netherlands, however same-sex unions are given the same status as heterosexual counterparts), gay marriage is gaining slow acceptance. In 1989, an estimated three hundred gay men and lesbians clad in attire ranging from formal to ultra-casual and hailing from as far away as Japan came together on the streets of our nation’s capital and publicly acclaimed their unions in a great Gay Wedding. Churches and religious institutions such as the Universalist Meeting House and Unitarian sects accept and encourage gay marriages, offering same-sex couple counseling and performing services.
Those gay men and lesbians who choose not to affirm their joining religiously can and do create their own personal expressions of shared love, as varied and diverse as the individuals themselves.
Edited by Becky Butler, Cerernonies of the Heart (Seal Press) is a documented account of same-sex commitment ceremonies. Well-researched, it is a moving testimony of gay couples acknowledging their unions, both traditionally and avant-garde.
As we approach the twenty-first century, and seemingly in the final rounds of a fight for gay rights which we will win, the trend to publicly  acknowledge gay unions with the institution of marriage is on the upswing. With the self-absorbed 80’s decade at our backs, more same-gender couples are declaring their relationships in all manner of ritualistic creativity.

GAY MARRIAGE? NOTHING NEW, JUST OUT OF CLOSET!

Timothy W. Daniel
Attorney at Law
Estate Planning, Adoptions, Personal Injury
Criminal Law, Bankruptcy, Workers Compensation
1-800-742-9468 or 918-352-9504
128 East Broadway, Drumright, Oklahoma
Weekend and evening appointments are available.
Know Your Rights!

Tulsa Family News, January 1994 – February 1994, page 6

THE GAY LIFESTYLE

No Domestic Partners Benefits – Are You Being Ripped Off?
by Mary Troltnstine - Entre Nous
If a prspective employer said, "I pay heterosexuals $15 an hour and lesbians and gays $10 an hour?" [sic.] would you take the job? Every time we accept a job at a company that does not offer domestic partners benefits we have taken the job for $10 an hour. Benefits packages represent 25-35% of an employee’s pay. As a gay or lesbian employee working in a company that does not recognize our partners, we can’t utilize the medical/dental plan for our partner. We can’t take sick leave to tend our sick partner, family leave when our partner has a child, or bereavement leave if our partner should die. If our company extends health club privileges or other perks to its employees and family, our families are once again left out. These are all benefits that the company would extend to us, if only we were straight.
There are companies that extend benefits to their gay and lesbian employees. Are they altruistic companies, out to do the morally right thing? Companies are not moral. They can be persuaded however, to do the morally correct thing if it can be shown to be in the company’s best interest.
Why should a company extend costly benefits to non-traditional families? Some of the reasons given by employers who have extended domestic partnership benefits include:
1. Benefits packages help employers recruit and retain qualified workers and a diverse workplace.
2. Employees are more productive if they feel management values them and takes their families seriously.
3. Financial needs of an employee in a non-traditional family are no different from financial needs of a married employee, nor are their responsibilities to their partner different.
4. Denying benefits violates principles of fairness.
5. Redefining "family" to include long-term committed relationships reflects the changing social reality.
In fact there may be legal precedence for extending domestic partners benefits. Title VII of the Civil Rights Act specifics that any benefits offered by a company must be equitably offered to all employees. Recent EEOC rulings have used this act to force employers to give men the same parenting leave as they give their female employees.
There is no corrcct way to fight for domestic partners benefits. But there is enough experience to date to be able to draw some general conclusions. It is important to understand and work with the "corporate culture" that defines your company. How does information flow in the company? How are decisions made? Who has the power to make and to influence decisions?
How you present the problems/solutions is critical to whether or not you’ll be listened to. A confrontational approach does not work, but you must stay visible. Frame the issues so that the company sees that it is in their best interest to change their policies. Give the company as much information as you can, including policies and monetary analysis of other companies; domestic partners policies.
Partnerships are important. There is strength in numbers. Form a lesbian & gay employees association. Join forces with other employee groups. Unmarried heterosexuals take advantage of domestic partnership benefits far more often than lesbian and gay couples. Joining forces with unmarried heterosexuals can push the cause forward much faster.
It is helpful to get the support of Human Resources. Even though the HR department is often the preserver of the status quo, there are many good people in HR who honestly want to do the right thing. Enlist the support and help from someone in management. This person does not have to be lesbian or gay. Bennet Marks, co-chair of the gay employees group at Apple Computer summed it up when he said "I would much rather work with sympathetic straight people than closeted gay people on these issues.

If a perspective employer said, "I pay heterosexuals $15 an hour and lesbians and gays $10/hour?" [sic.] would you take the job? Every time we accept a job at a company that does not offer domestic partners benefits, we have taken the job for $10/hour.

Miss Gay Tulsa Oklahoma’s Oldest Pageant
by Kris Kohl
Fans and contestants are preparing for the annual Miss Gay Tulsa Pageant to be held on Sunday, January thirtieth at eight p.m. at the Silver Star Saloon, 1565 S. Sheridan. At twenty-three years old, the pageant is the oldest in Oklahoma; it predates by two years the Miss Gay American Pageant of Norma Kristie in Little Rock, Arkansas.
The pageant will be an AIDS benefit, with proceeds going to the MCC AIDS fund. Money collected from advertisers, raffle tickets, and donations at the door of the Silver Star Will all contribute to the fund. Last year, this wonderful event was the largest fundraiser of its kind in our state. The pageant brought in over $ 1,100, which was divided between Shanti and MCC.
Our pageant over the years has benefited from the contributions of many shining stars. Each, in their own way, shone bright as title-holders, and will all be long-remembered. Two people without whom this pageant would never have achieved its status and grace are EmCee Parker and Tim Warren. These two men created the Miss Gay Tulsa Empire.
Last year, as a memorial to these two pioneers who have passed on, an award was created by pageant director, Kris Kohl. The Award of Artistry recognizes the power and contribution to the art of female impersonation of the stage performance of its recipient.
Last year, the fabulous Jazzmyn Cherri took home this honor, as well as being first runner-up. Second runner--up [sic.] and winner of Male Interview, was Sensuous Helen Holliday. Who will be crowned this year? Come find out on January thirtieth at the Silver Star!
A limited amount of reserved seating is available for ten dollars per person. A donation of three dollars cover will be asked for at the door, and raffle tickets for some wonderful prizes can be bought at the door as well. Remember all proceeds benefit MCC-AIDS benefit fund!

New Hours: Tues.,Thurs. 4:2 Fri. & Sat. 7-2 Sun, 4-2
MaleDancers Every Thursday

all your interior needs

15th Street, 599-8070

[duplicate of page 6]

The Alley
3340 South Peoria
21 To Enter
744-0896

The Alley, 3340 S. Peoria Ave., is the current room of choice for Tulsa's gay community. Formerly Spectrum and, before that, T-Birds, The Alley's turntables pour out heavy doses of hardcore techno and disco-laden hip-hop, making it a popular spot for heterosexual clubgoers in search of good dance music.

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