[2023] Nancy McDonald Obituary
Title
[2023] Nancy McDonald Obituary
Subject
Nancy McDonald, June 4, 1936 - October 24, 2023
Description
Four pages of an obituary for Nancy McDonald, who lived June 4, 1936 to October 24, 2023, published by Stanleys Funeral and Cremation Service. A service was planned for November 12, 2023 at All Souls Unitarian Church.
Creator
Stanleys Funeral and Cremation Service
Date
November 12, 2023
Text
(/) 3959 E 31st St
Tulsa, OK 74135
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2/6/25, 3:31 PM Obituary | Nancy McDonald of Tulsa, Oklahoma | Stanleys Funeral & Cremation Service
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Nancy McDonald of Tulsa, Oklahoma
June 4, 1936 - October 24, 2023
Nancy McDonald, a longtime Tulsa community volunteer and activist, died Tuesday. She was 87. A celebration of life will be held at 4 p.m. Nov. 12 at All Souls Unitarian Church, with a reception to follow. Per McDonald’s wishes, her family invites everyone attending the reception to bring homemade cookies.
Known for her vision and tenacity, McDonald was a force for change in Tulsa for well over 50 years, embracing a variety of causes including public school integration, the arts and LGBTQ rights.
Notably with the latter, her inuence extended throughout Oklahoma and beyond.
McDonald and her husband, Joe, were the founders of the Tulsa chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, the rst in Oklahoma, and she later served as president of the national PFLAG organization. It was during her tenure as president, in 1998, that the organization extended its mission to include transgender people.
McDonald was active on a state and national level in promoting legislation that advanced LGBTQ rights. And when a proposed law threatened that advancement, she was there to ght it. That included testifying before Congress in 1996 in opposition to the federal Defense of Marriage Act.
Toby Jenkins, former director of Oklahomans for Equality, said McDonald was a source of needed encouragement for her fellow LGBTQ rights advocates, assuring them that “incrementally, bit by bit, relationships would form and change would come.”
“Nancy taught us to show respect and civility to everyone, even if they were hateful to you,” Jenkins said. “If they spoke that way, she believed it was just that their hearts and minds had not been opened or challenged. Eventually the change of heart would come. I will miss that most about her.”
A Nebraska native and graduate of the University of Nebraska, McDonald moved to Tulsa with her family in 1966. She didn’t waste any time getting involved in her new community.
As a parent of school-age children and PTA member, she joined a small group of Tulsa Public Schools parents in helping with voluntary integration, starting with Burroughs Elementary School.
Then, in 1973, district ocials turned to McDonald to help integrate Booker T. Washington High School.
Chairing a committee for volunteer recruitment, McDonald led the successful eort to recruit white student volunteers to attend the previously all-Black school, holding a series of meetings with students and parents.
Her volunteering led to a full-time job with TPS, coordinating volunteers and leading the further development of the magnet school concept.
Motivating more community volunteers to get involved in their public schools was at the heart of McDonald’s love for the Partners in Education program. She participated in a related White House Symposium and wrote the guidelines for PIE groups that were published as a book. She remained involved with PIE through the end of her life.
McDonald was also passionate about scouting. She was a former board member and president of the Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma. In that role, she helped guide the organization through the tumultuous time following the 1977 murders of three girls at summer camp.
McDonald was recipient of a number of honors and awards. They included induction into the Tulsa Hall of Fame and the dedication of the Nancy & Joe McDonald Rainbow Library in her and her husband’s honor at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center.
McDonald’s commitment to the LGBTQ cause began in the 1980s when one of her daughters came out as a lesbian.
The experience of supporting her daughter would shape McDonald, and later she became a mother gure to many LGBTQ people who found themselves facing alienation from friends and family.
“We called her ‘everybody’s mother,’” Jenkins said. “She was a surrogate parent for so many whose families had rejected them or had not accepted or understood them. There are national LGBTQ leaders who came out of Oklahoma who Nancy mentored about family relationships.”
And her motherly inuence didn’t end with the LGBTQ community, Jenkins said.
“If anyone was marginalized, it became her cause,” he said.
Morva McDonald, McDonald’s daughter, said her mother was “just so good at seeing every individual.”
“At her core, she was always trying her best to help people be seen, be recognized for who they were. And that’s what allowed her to reach across so many different causes and arenas.”
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“The issue for her was always helping people be seen. It was a tremendous gift.”
For her mother, part of valuing people as individuals included helping them nd ways to participate, Morva added.
“That’s why we’re asking people to bring homemade cookies to the reception. It was her idea. Baking was a favorite activity of Mom’s with her grandchildren.
“Even at the end she was thinking about how everyone could share and participate.”
McDonald’s survivors include her husband, Joe McDonald; four children, JoElyn Newcomb, Paul McDonald, Jason McDonald and Morva McDonald; eight sgrandchildren; a brother, Howard Nellor; and a sister, Sharlene Clatano.
Memorial donations may be made to the Foundation for Tulsa Schools’ Partners in Education program.
Services
Celebration of Life
Sunday, November 12, 2023
4:00 PM
All Souls Unitarian Church
2952 S. Peoria Ave
Tulsa, OK 74114
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2/6/25, 3:31 PM Obituary | Nancy McDonald of Tulsa, Oklahoma | Stanleys Funeral & Cremation Service
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Tulsa, OK 74135
918-743-6271 (tel:1-918-743-6271)
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Nancy McDonald of Tulsa, Oklahoma
June 4, 1936 - October 24, 2023
Nancy McDonald, a longtime Tulsa community volunteer and activist, died Tuesday. She was 87. A celebration of life will be held at 4 p.m. Nov. 12 at All Souls Unitarian Church, with a reception to follow. Per McDonald’s wishes, her family invites everyone attending the reception to bring homemade cookies.
Known for her vision and tenacity, McDonald was a force for change in Tulsa for well over 50 years, embracing a variety of causes including public school integration, the arts and LGBTQ rights.
Notably with the latter, her inuence extended throughout Oklahoma and beyond.
McDonald and her husband, Joe, were the founders of the Tulsa chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, the rst in Oklahoma, and she later served as president of the national PFLAG organization. It was during her tenure as president, in 1998, that the organization extended its mission to include transgender people.
McDonald was active on a state and national level in promoting legislation that advanced LGBTQ rights. And when a proposed law threatened that advancement, she was there to ght it. That included testifying before Congress in 1996 in opposition to the federal Defense of Marriage Act.
Toby Jenkins, former director of Oklahomans for Equality, said McDonald was a source of needed encouragement for her fellow LGBTQ rights advocates, assuring them that “incrementally, bit by bit, relationships would form and change would come.”
“Nancy taught us to show respect and civility to everyone, even if they were hateful to you,” Jenkins said. “If they spoke that way, she believed it was just that their hearts and minds had not been opened or challenged. Eventually the change of heart would come. I will miss that most about her.”
A Nebraska native and graduate of the University of Nebraska, McDonald moved to Tulsa with her family in 1966. She didn’t waste any time getting involved in her new community.
As a parent of school-age children and PTA member, she joined a small group of Tulsa Public Schools parents in helping with voluntary integration, starting with Burroughs Elementary School.
Then, in 1973, district ocials turned to McDonald to help integrate Booker T. Washington High School.
Chairing a committee for volunteer recruitment, McDonald led the successful eort to recruit white student volunteers to attend the previously all-Black school, holding a series of meetings with students and parents.
Her volunteering led to a full-time job with TPS, coordinating volunteers and leading the further development of the magnet school concept.
Motivating more community volunteers to get involved in their public schools was at the heart of McDonald’s love for the Partners in Education program. She participated in a related White House Symposium and wrote the guidelines for PIE groups that were published as a book. She remained involved with PIE through the end of her life.
McDonald was also passionate about scouting. She was a former board member and president of the Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma. In that role, she helped guide the organization through the tumultuous time following the 1977 murders of three girls at summer camp.
McDonald was recipient of a number of honors and awards. They included induction into the Tulsa Hall of Fame and the dedication of the Nancy & Joe McDonald Rainbow Library in her and her husband’s honor at the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center.
McDonald’s commitment to the LGBTQ cause began in the 1980s when one of her daughters came out as a lesbian.
The experience of supporting her daughter would shape McDonald, and later she became a mother gure to many LGBTQ people who found themselves facing alienation from friends and family.
“We called her ‘everybody’s mother,’” Jenkins said. “She was a surrogate parent for so many whose families had rejected them or had not accepted or understood them. There are national LGBTQ leaders who came out of Oklahoma who Nancy mentored about family relationships.”
And her motherly inuence didn’t end with the LGBTQ community, Jenkins said.
“If anyone was marginalized, it became her cause,” he said.
Morva McDonald, McDonald’s daughter, said her mother was “just so good at seeing every individual.”
“At her core, she was always trying her best to help people be seen, be recognized for who they were. And that’s what allowed her to reach across so many different causes and arenas.”
SEND A CARD
Show Your Sympathy to the Family
(https://www.stmcdonald/cardscampaign=obitucards-ctaleftside)
SEND FLOWERS
Order Flowers for the Family
(https://www.stmcdonald/flowercampaign=obituowers-ctaleftside)
(tel:9187436271)
2/6/25, 3:31 PM Obituary | Nancy McDonald of Tulsa, Oklahoma | Stanleys Funeral & Cremation Service
https://www.stanleysfuneralhome.com/obituary/nancy-mcdonald 2/4
“The issue for her was always helping people be seen. It was a tremendous gift.”
For her mother, part of valuing people as individuals included helping them nd ways to participate, Morva added.
“That’s why we’re asking people to bring homemade cookies to the reception. It was her idea. Baking was a favorite activity of Mom’s with her grandchildren.
“Even at the end she was thinking about how everyone could share and participate.”
McDonald’s survivors include her husband, Joe McDonald; four children, JoElyn Newcomb, Paul McDonald, Jason McDonald and Morva McDonald; eight sgrandchildren; a brother, Howard Nellor; and a sister, Sharlene Clatano.
Memorial donations may be made to the Foundation for Tulsa Schools’ Partners in Education program.
Services
Celebration of Life
Sunday, November 12, 2023
4:00 PM
All Souls Unitarian Church
2952 S. Peoria Ave
Tulsa, OK 74114
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Stanleys Funeral and Cremation Service, “[2023] Nancy McDonald Obituary,” OKEQ History Project, accessed February 22, 2025, https://history.okeq.org/items/show/1280.